FADE IN:
INT. MULDER'S APT. - DAY
We see Mulder lying on his couch. He has had
a long day of relaxing after his long drive back from Roswell... in
his new red convertible. The tv is on, and Mulder is channel 'surfing'.
His cell phone rings.
MULDER
--Mulder.
SCULLY (FILTERED)
Mulder, it's me. (Beat)
Please tell me your
back from Roswell.
MULDER
Yeah. I just got back
last night. (beat; chuckles
to himslef) You will never
believe what happened.
SCULLY
I don't have time right
now. (beat) Skinner needs
to talk with you today.
MULDER
Ok, fine. I'll come in.
Mulder hangs up the phone, and goes to change
into his work clothes.
CUT TO:
INT. MULDER'S OFFICE - DAY
Mulder has finally arrived back at work. His
office is dark. He turns on a light. He immediatly notices his desk
is clean, and has a different name plate on it: Dana Scully. He looks
around and sees that in the back of the office is a smaller desk with
Mulder's name plate on it.
SCULLY (O.S.)
They finally gave me a
desk. (beat) And we still
have room.
Mulder turns and looks at her.
MULDER
My desk is small.
SCULLY
Skinner needs to
talk to you.
TIME CUT TO:
INT. SKINNER'S OFFICE - DAY
We catch Skinner in mid sentence.
ANGEL - MULDER
Sitting there looking like a lost puppy dog.
SKINNER
--AND IF YOU EVER LEAVE
AGAIN, WITHOUT TELLING
A SOUL, I WILL HAVE TO TAKE YOUR
BADGE!
MULDER - looks up, looking more pathetic.
SKINNER
NO MULDER! (beat) NOT this
time. I've had enough of you.
(hesitant beat) From now on,
you are on probation.
MULDER
Probation? (beat) What
do ya mean by that?
SKINNER
Pack up your office.
Your gonna be an
assistant for a new
agent. (beat) I'd like
you to meet...
The 'new' agent comes in. A familiar face or...
Alex Krycek. Finally free from being in jail in Roswell.
SKINNER (con't)
...Agent Krycek. (beat; a
sly smile) Though... I'm sure
you've already met.
MULDER
I'm partners with Krycek!?
KRYCEK
No, Mulder. Scully's my
partner. (beat;a laugh)You're
our 'assistant.'(beat) You
know, get me my coffee
Mulder looks to Skinner who is trying to contain
his laugh. Mulder looks back at Krycek.
MULDER
How did you get outta
jail anyways?
KRYCEK
I had someone from
'down under' help me with
bail. (beat) She's really
sweet. You're lucky she's not
here, or else she would kick your
butt.
Krycek gives Mulder an evil grin.
CUT TO:
INT. KRYCEK AND SCULLY'S NEW OFFICE - NIGHT
Their office is new, and out of the basement.
KRYCEK
Mulder? (calling)
Mulder walks in.
KRYCEK
Uh yeah... I would like
a double espresso, and Agent
Scully would like, uh....
SCULLY
Just some bottled water
will be fine.
Mulder glares...
KRYCEK
And hurry. (beat;calling)
And don't pee in the
drinks this time!
Krycek and Scully go back to their files.
A short time later, Mulder returns with their
drinks.
KRYCEK
Thanks Spooky.
Mulder has had enough. He hands Scully her water.
He walks over to Krycek and pours the double espresso on his lap.
Krycek jumps up. Mulder starts to laugh.
KRYCEK
NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!
Mulder is laughing so much and so hard, he falls
over backwards.
Krycek walks over, picks Mulder up by the collar
of his shirt and WHACKS him with his head.
MULDER/KRYCEK
OW!
They both fall in pain, holding their heads.
Scully gets up and leaves the room.
SCULLY
I'm gonna see what Skinner's doing.
MULDER
(to Krycek)
Why'd you do that, you moron!
Scully leaves. Mulder and Kryce don't realize
this.
KRYCEK
What do you mean 'why
did I do that'!? You
poured my espresso on me!
KRYCEK
Punches Mulder.
MULDER
Punches Krycek. They continue to fight in this
pattern for a while.
MULDER
Oh, by the way Krycek,
welcome back.
KRYCEK
Shut up Mulder!
KRYCEK
WHACKS Mulder again.
MULDER
TRIPS Krycek and PUNCHES him.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE KRYCEK AND SCULLY'S OFFICE
-NIGHT
SCULLY AND SKINNER
are listening to Krycek and Mulder fight,
KRYCEK (o.s.)
You ripped my new shirt!
WHACK!
MULDER (o.s.)
I think you broke my nose!
A CRASHING of a desk is heard.
SKINNER
(to Scully)
Are they going to kill each other?
Scully just shakes her head "no".
A hard, and final WHACK is heard. Then silence.
Scully and Skinner hear footsteps coming to the
door.
The door opens... It is Krycek. He says nothing
as he passes Scully and Skinner.
KRYCEK
does indeed have his new shirt ripped, and some
blood on it. He staggers away.
SCULLY AND SKINNER
watch him as he goes down the hall. They look
back into the office and see Mulder laying on the ground. Scully looks
at Skinner who burst out laughing at Mulder and Krycek.
THE END.