Title: "Potatoe Salad & The Lazarus Bowl"
Story by: Nate
Written by: Kristi
Date: 1999
Air Date: N/A
Rating: PG
Series: FRVS - Episode #017
Spoilers: None, we try to create our own stuff... but remember sometimes we have to refer to happenings in the actual show "The X-Files".
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Archiving: "Fox & Rat" Virtual Series only!
Disclaimer: We do not own anyone. They belong to Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions, and 20th Century FOX Broadcasting.
Author's Note: This story was given to my by Nate after we were done taking our German final. Most of this story is by Nate, but I did a few adjustments. Thank you Nate for the great story idea!
Summary: Mulder breaks Rule #1 and Krycek gets pissed ... bullets fly.
FADE IN:
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE OF MULDER & KRYCEKS APT. - DAY
We see the elevator doors open with a DING. Krycek steps out. He walks down the hallway towards his apartment. He is putting his key in the door, when he hears out of Mulder's apartment... exuberant moans. Krycek stops dead in his tracks and looks towards Mulder's door.
Krycek goes over to Mulder's door and tries to open it... it's unlocked. Krycek walks in.
KRYCEK'S POV - Mulder's living room couch.
There is Mulder, standing, and Marita laying on her stomache while Mulder is giving her a massage. Marita moans louder, and Mulder is getting a buldge in his pants. Krycek is watching this with shock/anger. Mulder and Marita don't notice him. Krycek storms out.
CUT TO:
INT. KRYCEK'S BED ROOM - DAY
We see Krycek tearing apart his room... looking for something. He moves over to his closet and starts to teat it apart. Moments later... he's found what he's looking for: his gun.
Krycek holds it up, with a look of insane triumph. He runs out the door.
CUT TO:
INT. MULDER'S SIDE OF THE APARTMENT - DAY
Mulder is still giving Marita a massage. An insane Krycek stomps over to Mulder's living room. Mulder and Marita look up. Mulder has the classic 'oh shit' look on his face.
In SLOW MOTION: Krycek looks to Mulder insanly and points his gun. Marita starts to stand up...
MARITA
Alex...Krycek SHOOTS! He misses Mulder and hits Marita
MULDER
(falling)
Owe!Marita falls to the ground. Krycek looks at Marita falling with a horrid expression on his face. Mulder watches in shock.
BACK TO REAL TIME:
Krycek runs over to Marita. He starts to cry. Mulder still siting in shock.
Krycek looks up at Mulder with an insane look in his eyes. He starts to beat Mulder with his prosthetic arm, which flies off, hitting Mulder's computer.
Mulder quickly grabs a pillow and WHACKS Krycek in the head.
Krycek starts to scream in pain. Mulder looks confused.
MULDER
It's only a pillow.Krycek falls back onto the floor, only to reveal that a feather from the pillow has been jammed into his right eye.
Suddenly, Mulder's eyes light up. He runs into the kitchen leaving Krycek in pain, and Marita dead.
CUT TO:
INT. THE KITCHEN - DAY
Mulder runs to the refrigerator and grabs a bowl (NOTE: this bowl looks like the Lazarus bowl.) which holds his potatoe salad.
CUT TO:
INT. THE LIVING ROOM - DAY
We are right back at the terrible sight of Marita dead, and a feather stuck in Krycek's eye.
Mulder, with the Lazarus bowl in hand, dumps out his potatoe salad (unknowingly) onto Krycek's prosthetic arm (on the joint). Mulder, goes over to Krycekwho is still screaming in pain, and jerks the feather right out of his eye... this only makes Krycek scream some more.
Then, Mulder runs towards Marita and receits the incantation of the Lazarus bowl to rais the dead. Marita comes back to life. Her wounds heal up. She opens her eyes.
Mulder walks over and picks up some of his potatoe salad, and throws it on Krycek's eye.
MULDER
There (beat) that should
cool it off.Marita gets up and walks over to Krycek's prosthetic arm (not noticing the potatoe salad on the joint) and reattaches it to Krycek. We can hear the sickening slurping sound smush into Krycek's arm as the potatoe salad seeps into his arm joint.
Krycek smiles up at Marita, happy taht she is alive. His shirt sleeve around his arm joint begins to moisten from the potatoe salad.
Out of nowhere, vicious rats come from the broken down wall, and devour the potatoe salad and Krycek's prosthetic arm. The rats reopen the shoulder wound, leaving Krycek once again in pain.
Mulder quickly runs for a broom to scare the rats away. Mulder screams and jump up and down like a mad man to get rid of these rats.
Finally, Mulder wins. Krycek is in too much pain to move. He just lies there.
KRYCEK'S POV - MULDER & MARITA
stand over him looking down at him in pity.
MARITA
We should move him.Mulder looks to her.
MULDER
I think you're right.
MARITA
I think your potatoe salad
has entered the wound.Mulder gets a sick look on his face.
MULDER Mulder bends down and removes Krycek's prosthetic arm.
(after a beat)
Yuk.
MARITA
We should get him a
new arm.
Mulder shakes his head in agreement. The picture starts to get very blured, as we are still seeing from Krycek's POV. We can still make out through the blured picture, Marita and Mulder picking up Krycek.
FADE TO BLACK:
TIME CUT TO:
INT. KRYCEK'S BED ROOM - EVENING
We can hear the sound of rain outside. It's very dark in Krycek's room. Krycek is sleeping in his bed.
The door quietly opens. Krycek jerks awake.
KRYCEK
(sleepy)
Hmm... Marita?
Is that you?Marita sits down on the side of his bed.
MARITA
Yes.
KRYCEK
I had this weird dream (beat)
I killed you, and rats were
eating me.
MARITA
That did happen, Alex.
KRYCEK
But you're alive (beat)
Does that mean I'm dead?
MARITA
No.
She turns on the lamp next to his bed. Krycek screams in terror.
KRYCEK'S POV - MARITA
looks pale and zombie like.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. KRYCEK'S BED ROOM - EVENING
It's just as dark as before, and raining. Krycek awakes with a loud scream as he sits up in bed terrified.
MARITA (O.S.)
Alex, calm down!
KRYCEK
No.He tries to find a light. Marita turns it on.
KRYCEK
AHH!!! (beat to realize)
Oh... you're normal.
MARITA
Of course I'm normal. (beat)
It's you I'm worried about, Alex.
KRYCEK
I had a dream you
were a zombie.Mulder enters.
MULDER
We got you something.
Krycek looks at Marita... does he really want to know...? Mulder pulls from behind his back, a new prosthetic arm.
MULDER
We figured since the rats
had fun with your old arm,
we'd get you a new one.
Krycek has a goofy smile on his face. He takes the arm and reattaches it.
KRYCEK
Aww, you guys.
MULDER
See buddy, you don't
have to kill anyone now.
Krycek glares at Mulder. Mulder backs away in fear.
MARITA
Alex... It was only a
massage... calm down. (beat)
Get some rest, Alex.
Marita and Mulder exit. CUT TO:
INT. THE KITCHEN
It's a mess. Marita takes a seat at the table, and Mulder walks over to the refrigerator.
MULDER
Want some potatoe salad?
MARITA
Who made it?
MULDER
Me.
MARITA
I'll pass today.
Mulder looks down into his potatoe salad and has to agree with her. Off the view of the potatoe salad with meat pieces coming to life in the Lazarus bowl, we...
FADE OUT:
THE END.
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