Title: "Road Trip"
Written by: Cassie & Kristi
Date: 2001
Air Date: N/A
Rating: PG (some language)
Series: FRVS - Episode #057
Spoilers: Past episodes of FRVS may be spoiled.
Feedback: We love it. Please e-mail us at frvs.feedback@gmail.com (please include the episode name in the subject) Thank you.
Archiving: "Fox & Rat" Virtual Series only!
Disclaimer: We do not own anyone. They belong to Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions, and 20th Century FOX Broadcasting.
Author's Note: This is our ninth and final story idea for season 3 finale, one that finally worked! Whoohoo! We wrote this entire story listening to music by Celine Dion... intresting what music can inspire us. We appreciate your patience with us being late, we had to postpone this story, but it was crucial to be correct. Enjoy and feedback is always welcome. Season 4 premiere will be September 3, 2001. And now... on with the show...
Summary: The gang goes on a road trip in the midwest and face a serious problem...

---

FADE IN:

INT. DEEP FRIED KILL RESTAURANT - MIDDLE OF NOWHERE KANSAS
5:30PM - MARCH 28

Mulder, Krycek, Scully, Marita, Skinner and Doggett are seated at a booth. A scrawny old waitress stands before them, holding up her pen and note pad to take their order. Her glasses are practically falling off her face and she still squints, she is wearing a hair net. We'd like to note here that no one has a restaurant menu before them.

WAITRESS KRISTI
(her hand shaking as if she's on caffeine)
May I take your order?

MULDER
(are you stupid lady?)
Umm... I think we need
to see the menu-

WAITRESS KRISTI
(smacks her chewing gum)
Ain't got 'em.

MARITA
(nervous)
OK. I'll have a double cheeseburger.

WAITRESS KRISTI
You mean the Road Kill Special?

Mulder grosses out, and makes a gagging sound.

WAITRESS KRISTI
(off their looks)
In fact... that's all we
got ladies and gents...

And she walks off. Krycek leans in and speaks.

KRYCEK
(whisper/serious)
I could kill her and no
one would know...

Marita actually smacks Krycek across the face.

MARITA
(oh grow up)
You can be so insensitive, Alex.

Mulder starts pointing at Marita and Krycek rather excited. Mulder leans over to Scully.

MULDER
(whisper)
She called him Alex!

Scully leans over to Skinner.

SCULLY
(whisper)
That would explain the start
of the nine o'clock phone calls...

Skinner leans over to Doggett.

SKINNER
(whisper)
They're going out.

Doggett doesn't understand where they got that idea from, he's confused.

DOGGETT
(out loud)
What?

Doggett looks over at Marita and Krycek, how in the heck do Mulder, Scully and Skinner figure that... all Marita and Krycek have been doing on this pointless road trip is fight... not exactly romance material.

DOGGETT
(to Marita/Krycek)
Are you two involved?

Marita and Krycek shut up and look at him dumbfounded, how'd he know?

Five minutes pass, no one has said anything. Waitress Kristi gives all of them their Road Kill Specials, she spits into Mulder's and winks at him. They all look at their food, stand up and leave, leaving behind only a $1 tip... only because once everyone started leaving, Krycek took the rest of the tip, leaving only the dollar bill.

EXT. DEEP FRIED KILL RESTAURANT

They are all walking back to their rental mini-van.

SCULLY
So when did we last stop for gas?

MULDER
When we plotted to-

KRYCEK
SHUT IT Spooky!

MARITA
Last one in has to drive!

Mulder, Krycek, and Skinner run to the van, following Marita. Scully and Doggett walk behind them, Scully takes out the keychain and uses the remote lock to unlock the van. The kids (Mulder, Marita, Krycek, and Skinner) pile in, laughing. Doggett and Scully share a look.

DOGGETT
Are you sure you want to drive
through Mulder's caffeine high?
I can do it if you want.

SCULLY
I'll be fine, but thanks for offering.

They get into the front seat, Scully adjusts the seat and the mirror. Mulder is boucing like a freak in the very back seat next to Skinner, who is laughing. Scully pulls out of the parking lot just as Waitress Kristi runs out with a bazooka and shoots at them...

TIME CUT - 7PM (1 1/2 HOURS LATER)

Scully is still driving, Doggett is attempting to get some sleep, since he will be driving through the night. He's resting his head on the window, which isn't all that comfortable since his head is vibrating on the glass. Scully hits a bump and Doggett's head hits the glass hard. Doggett decides to abandon the glass and just let his head rest on the back of the seat.

"Nothing Broken But My Heart" by Celine Dion is playing, Scully has brought her Celine Dion CD collection. She seems tense and irritated... and with good reason.

In the back, Mulder is crawling over Marita so he can secretly go tug on Doggett's hair, he tugs and quickly covers his mouth to keep himself from laughing but he can still be heard.

SKINNER
(rather loud and child-like)
He did it!

Skinner is pointing at Mulder. Suddenly the side door that Mulder is near flies open! And Mulder flies out! He grabs onto the door to save himself... Scully is driving so fast, that Mulder is not dragging and appears to be flying like a cartoon.

MULDER
(overly loud and dramatic)
HEEEELP MEEE!!!!!!

SCULLY
(making no attempt to stop/mother-like)
See kids, this is why we
wear our seatbelts.

EVERYONE IN BACK
(getting it)
Ahhh.....

DOGGETT
(panicked)
Scully pull over!!

Mulder continues screaming and occasioinally spitting out bugs that have flown into his mouth.

Scully pulls over to the side of the road, Mulder is now dragging on the ground. The gang in back can't stop laughing. Doggett races out of the van and to Mulder who has rolled down into a ditch. Scully puts the van into park and gets out.

DOGGETT
Agent Mulder?

Mulder looks at him woozy.

MULDER
Call me Fox...

Scully kneels down next to Mulder.

SCULLY
Mulder don't move. Let me
make sure nothing's broken.

She starts checking him, and realizes Mulder has twisted his ankle.

SCULLY
Doggett go get the first aid
kit. I'll need rubbing alcohol,
and ace bandages for his ankle.

DOGGETT
Shouldn't we get him out
of the ditch first?

SCULLY
Good idea. (beat) Walter
can you help us here.

Mulder tugs on Scully's shirt, she looks at him to see what's wrong. Skinner doesn't come out to help.

MULDER
(woozy/doofy smile on face)
I lurve you Scully...

Scully pats his head... the poor thing...

SCULLY
I love you too, Mulder. Now
Doggett and I are going to
carry you back to the van,
don't put your left ankle
on the ground.

Doggett kneels next to Mulder and Mulder wraps his arm over his shoulder, Scully does the same on his other side. They carefully carry him up to the van. Krycek comes flying out of the van, almost knocking them down.

KRYCEK
(hurried)
Out of my way! I've got to piss!

Krycek disappears from view to do as nature intended. Mulder sits on the opening of the side door of the van as Scully cleans his wounds and bandages up all his cuts and scrapes.

Krycek returns and Skinner leaves momentarily. Scully wraps Mulder's left ankle. We hear Marita mutter something about how she wishes she was a guy.

MULDER
Thank you Scully. I don't
know what I'd do without you...

Mulder puckers up his lips and closes his eyes, hoping Scully will kiss him. Skinner returns, and Doggett takes this opportunity to relieve himself. Skinner sees Mulder's face.

SKINNER
Too late Mulder. She's
all mine and you know it.

Mulder opens one eye suspiciously, what does Skinner mean... he looks to Scully for guidance.

SCULLY
(whisper)
Snowman... You remember the
snowman? (beat/off his look)
Engagement...

Oh yeah... their secret engagement...

Mulder pouts. Doggett returns, oddly holding a puppy beagle in his arms.

DOGGETT
Hey, look who I found.

MULDER
(serious)
You found your lost pet?

The dog licks Doggett's face.

DOGGETT
No... I think he was abandoned...

Marita pokes her head out to see the puppy.

MARITA
He's so cute!

The dog squirms in Doggett's arms, he laughs.

DOGGETT
(to dog)
Restless little guy, aren't ya?

Mulder is helped back to the back of the van by Krycek and Skinner. Scully gets back into the drivers seat. Doggett places the dog on his seat and closes the side door. He gets into his seat and holds the dog on his lap. Scully drives on.

KRYCEK
(nervous)
You're not really keeping
that dog... are you?

Doggett looks back at him.

DOGGETT
Well I didn't want to leave
him out there alone...

KRYCEK
Yeah, well he stinks.

Doggett turns around and shows Krycek the puppy's cute little happy face, and his very own pouty lip expression... that says "why don't you like this cute little doggie?".

KRYCEK
(not happy)
Oh... so cute... now leave it.

MARITA
Well I think he's cute. What
do you have against doggies, Alex?

Krycek pouts.

KRYCEK
I don't wanna talk about it.

Marita takes the puppy in her arms.

MARITA
But look at him Alex.
He loves you...

KRYCEK
No he doesn't.

The dog jumps out to Krycek and repeatedly licks his face.

KRYCEK
(terrified)
God, get this mut off me!

TIME CUT - 8:30PM

Marita is peacefully sleeping, Krycek gave the puppy back to Doggett and is watching the TV that is built into the van... Tom & Jerry is playing, he's quite amused. Suddenly Mulder grabs Skinner's Gobstoppers.

SKINNER
(whiny loud)
Give me my candy back!

Mulder laughs as he pours all the frickin' Gobstoppers into his mouth. Then he starts spitting them out at Marita, making machine gun noises. Marita screams continuously. The dog starts howling, Skinner for no reason is making monkey noises (probably the caffeine). And inspired by all the immature racket... Krycek starts tickling Marita, she squeals as she laughs.

SKINNER
(loud/immitating a monkey)
Oh! Oh! Oh! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Up front in the adult section, Scully is about to loose it... she's more than irritated, she's being pushed to the edge of insanity... Doggett is irritated too.

SCULLY
(low)
Guys, can you please be quiet?

The racket continues... They didn't hear her.

SCULLY
(low)
Please... I need to concentrate.

KRYCEK
Shut up you whore!

Doggett turns around with an intense glare on his face and yells at him in drill sargent mode... maybe this will work.

DOGGETT
(yelling at top of lungs)
Shut up or I'll be forced to
go back there and make you shut up!

Marita whimpers (she's scared), Scully checks Doggett out by the cornor of her eye... no wonder she always wanted to be with Marine types... they look good when they are angry... and yelling...

DOGGETT
(yelling)
I am sick of your whining (beat)
You're crying, you childish acts,
and your monkey business! (beat) This
is not a circus, you are FBI Agents...
and I will not tolerate this!

They all shut up and freeze in their last assumed positions. "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion plays. Skinner still has one arm raised above his head, the other tickling himself. Mulder still has his lips puckered like a machine gun, a Gobstopper falls out, and pathetically falls to the ground. Krycek's fingers are still on Marita's stomach, her foot in his face. Doggett sits back... finally peace and quiet. He pats the puppy's head to calm it down, the dog got scared. Scully is driving, kind of in a trance... an odd smile on her face.

DOGGETT
(to Scully/quiet)
I'm sorry Agent Scully.

She smiles at him.

SCULLY
Quite alright, Agent Doggett.

TIME CUT - 30 MINUTES LATER

Everyone is still in the same position... more Gobstoppers have fallen out of Mulder's mouth with every bump they hit in the road.

MARITA
(breaking the silence)
Sir... excuse me... but I have to go.

No one answers from the front. Marita starts crying. After a beat, they pass a McDonalds 5 mile sign.

SCULLY
I'll stop in about 5 minutes.

MARITA
Yes ma'am.

As Scully pulls into the McDonalds parking lot, everyone stretches out and gets out of the van. Mulder unknowingly turns to Doggett and asks:

MULDER
Is my tongue rainbow colored?

He sticks his tongue out and then realizes he's asked Doggett, who is looking at him unamused, he falls over to hang onto Skinner and is helped into the restaurant... limping...

INT. MCDONALDS

Doggett is waiting in line with Mulder, Krycek, and Skinner. Mulder is debating over whether or not he wants a Happy Meal or #5 Super Sized, he's hanging on the shoulder's of Krycek and Skinner, levitating his left ankle.

In the woman's restroom, Scully and Marita are washing their hands. Marita takes out a marker and returns to a stall, Scully follows her, wondering what she's doing. She sees that Marita is writing: "For a good time, call Fox Mulder".

SCULLY
(shocked)
Marita!

Scully grabs the marker before Marita can write down the phone number. They leave the restroom, the guys are waiting to go with their food, Mulder decided to get a Happy Meal. They all exit and get into the van. Scully hands the keys over to Doggett and gets in on the passenger side. The puppy jumps off the seat and sniffs at the bag of food.

SCULLY
Hey, we need to get him some
food... the poor thing, he
must be starving.

Marita reaches into the cooler and hands over a bottle of water.

DOGGETT
(looking out window before pulling out)
Well I see a grocery
store down the street.

Scully is holding the puppy in her arms, allowing it to drink water from the water bottle.

CUT TO: 10PM

They are back on the highway. The puppy has fallen asleep on a really old pillow that for some odd reason Mulder wanted to bring... funny how things work out.

Everyone's caffeine fix must have worn off... either that or it's the fact that Doggett is driving, so all is quiet.

MULDER
(kinda loud)
Scully? Can you pass me some
more Tylenol? My ankle hurts...

Scully opens up the glove compartment and takes out some Tylenol PM and hands it to Krycek who hands it to Mulder.

Marita starts rummaging in her bag...

KRYCEK
(whispering)
What are you looking for honey?

Marita pulls out her 2 piece pajamas, sweatpants and unicorn t-shirt that has some glitter on it.

MARITA
Guys, please look away. I
want to change into some
comfortable clothes...

With that Mulder covers his eyes, and peeks. Skinner squints his eyes to give the illusion that he's not watching and Doggett re-angles the rear view mirror and glances up now and then. Marita changes her pants first, as she takes off her shirt, Mulder giggles. Krycek who's been watching this whole time, turns around and hits him over the head.

MULDER
Ow!

KRYCEK
Stop that you idiot.
She's my woman.

Doggett glances back, catches a glimpse of Marita putting on her unicorn t-shirt, he coughs, a bit embarrassed.

DOGGETT
Come on guys, let's think
about getting some rest.

Scully turns around and sees Krycek sneak a small kiss on Marita's cheek. Her eyes fall on Skinner, she watches him for a moment, wondering why he hasn't said much to her this whole trip.

SCULLY
(low voice)
Walter?

Skinner looks at her, not exactly the most friendly expression on his face.

SCULLY
Could you reach in the back
and hand me my sweatpants and shirt.

Skinner does as asked, he tosses up her gray sweatpants and army design tank top.

SCULLY
I'm gonna quickly change too,
I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't watch.

DOGGETT
Agent Scully, you're in my peripheral vision.

SCULLY
Just ignore me then...

Scully changes right in the front of the van. In the back, Skinner is covering Mulder's eyes, and Krycek and Marita are making out in a horizontal position... Doggett remains focused on the road ahead of him, unsuccessfully ignoring his peripheral vision, he rubs the back of his neck and shifts his postion in the seat.

SCULLY
Ok, I'm done.

She looks behind her... yep, Marita and Krycek must be back together.

SCULLY
(to Skinner)
Catch!

Scully throws her clothes back to Skinner. He starts to fold them nicely... he lifts up her black bra.

SKINNER
(what the hell)
You took this off too?

Doggett looks in the rear view mirror to see what Skinner is refering to. Ok then! He gets even more uncomfortable.

SCULLY
Well I can't be comfortable with
that on while I sleep...

KRYCEK (O.S)
She's got a point there...

And we hear Krycek undo Marita's... hmmmm...

DOGGETT
You two behave back there.

Krycek sits up abruptly, afraid that Doggett will yell again.

KRYCEK
Yes sir.

Skinner taps Krycek on the shoulder and hands him a pillow.

KRYCEK
(whispering)
Stop encouraging us, Skin Man...

SKINNER
It's not for you, Alex.
It's for Dana.

Krycek hands it to Scully. She doesn't attempt to sleep just yet, unlike everyone else in the back. Skinner is handing out pillows. Krycek places one behind his head, Marita rests her head on his chest and he wraps his arm around her... Skinner and Mulder sleep away from eachother, as would be expected.

It starts to rain. After about 15 minutes, Scully is trying to sleep, but can't she's still wondering why Skinner seems so distant... Everyone else is finally asleep. Doggett yawns and rummages through Scully's CDs. He picks up Celine Dion's "Let's Talk About Love" and puts on the song "My Heart Will Go On" from Titanic. It starts playing. Scully hears this, and finds it cute that Doggett likes the song.

Scully turns around to face Doggett, she just watches him for about a minute, he doesn't notice. Doggett seems very happy... he glances over at her and realizes she's awake. He gets embarrassed, he's listening to classified "chick" music.

DOGGETT
(quiet so not to wake everyone)
Agent Scully... I didn't realize
you were awake... I didn't mean to
use your CD without permission.

Scully laughs a tired laugh.

SCULLY
That's ok... (she sits up) You
must really like that movie...

DOGGETT
Well James Cameron did
an excellent job with it...

SCULLY
...Billy Zane... he was my favorite.

DOGGETT
(happy someone will talk Titanic with him)
His character was my favorite... had
the most depth... he was the most
interesting character to watch.

SCULLY
Yeah, I think his character
truly was in love with Rose.

DOGGETT
Finally! Someone that can see
that he loved her.

Little do they know, but Skinner is awake, listening in on this conversation... he's jealous but doesn't say anything to them... just listens.

SCULLY
That was one of the saddest parts
of the film. I felf so bad for Cal...

DOGGETT
I love how through the whole movie,
he's made out to be the uncaring
"bad guy" and later, we see him
cutting one of the boats loose to help other people.

He looks at Scully, she's smiling at him, a fresh smile that he's never seen before, he smiles back and then turns his attention back to the road. They are silent for awhile... as the song continues. The rain starts to pour down harder.

CELINE DION
...You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on...

There is a flash of lightening followed by a hollow crash of thunder that wakes up the puppy. It starts to whimper. Scully picks him up and comforts him. Dogget turns off the CD and tunes into a radio station. Scully looks at him curiously.

DOGGETT
Tornados are know to pop up now
and then out in the midwest...

SCULLY
(attempting a joke)
Like the Wizard of Oz...

He smiles at the lameness of that.

DOGGETT
Yeah...

In the back, Marita wakes up.

MARITA
(scared)
Did I hear thunder? I don't
like being out in the middle
of nowhere in s-storm...

DOGGETT
Don't worry, we're just
under a tornado watch
until 2AM.

KRYCEK
(waking up)
Tornado watch?...

DOGGETT
When conditions are right for
a severe storm to produce a tornado.

MULDER
(woozy)
Tomatoes... storms produce tomatoes?

KRYCEK
Oh... what time is it?

SCULLY
Eleven.

There is a flash of lightening and the winds pick up and Doggett decides to pull off to the side of the road.

DOGGETT
(looks at sky/concerned)
We'll just sit this out for
awhile... I'd put on your shoes
just in case...

KRYCEK
Why?

DOGGETT
(turning around)
Well if there would be a tornado,
we'd have to get out of the van and
to the lowest area... In our case, that
would be the ditch outside.

Mulder worriedly looks down at his ankle.

MULDER
My ankle....

SCULLY
There's probably nothing
to worry about Mulder.

Doggett turns up the radio.

WEATHER MAN (V.O)
... about 5 miles south of Salina.
If you are in that remote area, seek
shelter. Repeating. A tornado warning
has been issued for Salina, please
seek shelter immediately.

SKINNER
So where exactly are we?

Suddenly they hear a tornado siren go off.

DOGGETT
Must be close.

Krycek is looking out the front window, there is a flash of lightening, he sees the tornado funnel.

KRYCEK
Holy shit! There it is!

Everyone panics and scurries out of the van, upon exiting the van, they are drenched. The doors slam shut. In the ditch, Marita is crying, they are all lying down, the wind is causing the rain to fall on them as if from buckets. The dog barks. Scully and Marita are in the middle of the guys. Doggett holds the dog. Skinner has his arm over Scully's back, she's covering her head with her hands as are Krycek and Marita... they haven't noticed, but Mulder is still inside the van... banging his fists on the back window, yelling at them. Suddenly Krycek stands up.

KRYCEK
(yelling at top of lungs)
Mulder's still in there! I've
got to save my buddy!

Krycek runs against the wind of the approaching tornado and opens the door, behind him, Marita, Scully and Skinner run. Doggett remains in the ditch.

DOGGETT
(looking up at them)
Get back here!

INT. VAN

Krycek and Skinner are trying to lift Mulder without success. Marita and Scully are watching the tornado approach them.

MARITA
(crying/terrified)
Alex! It's gonna get us!

She clings onto Scully.

KRYCEK
(freaked crapless)
Shit!

He slams the side door shut and climbs to the driver seat and shifts the car into drive and takes off.

SCULLY
What about Doggett?!!

CUT TO:

THE DITCH

The noise from the tornado is incredible, debris flies above Doggett, he slightly raises his head, right in time to see the van drive straight toward the tornado. The tornado recklessly picks up the van and carries it off out into the middle of a field. About a half mile away, the tornado weakens and the van is thrown out. Doggett watches as the van lands upside down, the roof crushes in and there is a slight beat. Doggett closes his eyes, so he doesn't have to watch what comes next. The van EXPLODES!

The wind dies down as the tornado moves on...

Doggett lies in the ditch, holding the dog close to him. The "Oh my god, they got themselves killed by a frickin' tornado." look is on his face.

We PAN UP holding on Doggett lying in the ditch as we go higher and higher above him, we see the remaining flames that come from the van... no way anyone could have survived that... we go higher and higher... and higher... raising into the heavens...

FADE TO BLACK:

TO BE CONTINUED...

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