Title: "Day With Bob"
Written by: Cassie
Air Date: December 17, 2001
Rating: PG
Series: FRVS - Episode #067
Spoilers: Past episodes of FRVS may be spoiled.
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Archiving: "Fox & Rat" Virtual Series only!
Disclaimer: We do not own anyone. They belong to Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions, and 20th Century FOX Broadcasting.
Author's Note: The personalities of the characters within the world of "Fox & Rat" are not those you know from "The X-Files" television series. We have warped them and given them a common past, immature behavior and a sense of humor. Any horrid behavior should not be mimicked in your every day life.
Summary: Mulder and Krycek's spirits get stuck with Bob for a day.
FADE IN:
OVER BLACK
MULDER
(Voice Over)
Do you guys smell that?
KRYCEK
(V.O./Disgusted)
Yeah... that was sick, Mulder.
MULDER
(V.O.)
No. Not me. (beat) Where
the hell are we now?
Suddenly from a window inside the room we are in, the sun begins to rise, we don't recognize where we are, but it's a pit. We now see Mulder and Krycek, standing alone, save for a person sleeping on a bed that is covered with empty pizza boxes, science books and remote controls.
KRYCEK
How the heck should I know
where we are?
Without any notice, a very LOUD and ANNOYING alarm clock sounds. The person sleeping sits up immediately, yet calm, as if this is a routine. The person turns his head around, revealing to us and the boys that he is Bob, the cashier man from Happy Gilligan's Groceries.
MULDER
Krycek... it's Bob ol' Buddy ol' Pal!
Bob gets up out of bed and bends over and grabs the back of his legs, morning stretches. Oddly, Mulder cocks his head to the side, perhaps taking a better look at Bob's backside.
BOB
(to himself/unenthousiastic)
Bad morning Bob.
Bob jumps up to a standing position and shakes his head like a dog. His hair had grown just a little bit from the buzz cut Mulder and Krycek last remember seeing him have. Krycek walks up to him, his face right next to Bob's, and he observes.
KRYCEK
God, he looks like Hell.
MULDER
You're right, he almost looks...
sad. Do you think he lost his
job at the market?
Bob startes to change, causing Kyrcek to turn the other way, however Mulder remains facing Bob.
KRYCEK
"Grocery store". Not "market",
you dimwit.
Mulder wanders out of Bob's bedroom and out into the hallway and follows it out to Bob's living room. It's a very small apartment and a small card table is in between the kitchen entry and the living room. Krycek comes in and sits down on the lazy boy chair in the middle of the living room. The living room has only this sole lazy boy chair.
KRYCEK
I wonder why we're with him
today... yesterday it was Doggett's
dog and we helped him find his way
back to Doggett's house and now Bob...
I don't get it.
Mulder is only half listening to Krycek, he's looking at a crooked framed picture on the wall, right smack in the middle. Mulder leans forward to have a better look. It's a still frame surveillance photo of Mulder and Krycek grocery shopping together. In the photo they are fighting over a spilled bag of marshmellows and Krycek shoving something in his leather jacket. Of course being the boys that they are they didn't clean up this mess before leaving the store, meaning Bob cleaned up after them again.
MULDER
Krycek?
Bob enters the living room and crawls over the card table to enter his kitchen, he's dressed for work, in light blue pants and shirt with orange lining on the end of the short sleeves.
KRYCEK
(to Mulder)
Yeah?
MULDER
Do you think we were rude
to Bob when we were living?
Krycek looks over to Mulder, wondering where that thought came from.
KRYCEK
Why?
Mulder points to the picture on the wall.
MULDER
Oh, you know... how we always
caused trouble when we went to
Happy Gilligan's... shooting up
cereal boxes, making a pile of
soup cans fall, opening up the
freezer doors to make the ice
cream melt, beating up loaves of
bread -
KRYCEK
(insulted)
-Hey! That bread thing was
all you!
Suddenly they hear LOUD SOBBING coming from the kitchen. Bob is bawling, Mulder and Krycek share a look... now what? They walk right through the card table and into the kitchen. Bob has fallen to his knees.
BOB
Why God?! Why?!
(beat, wipes his nose with his shirt)
They were my only friends!!
Mulder and Krycek share another look... how odd. Bob starts crawling underneath the card table. Once he's on the living room side, he stands up and goes over to the picture hanging on the wall of Mulder and Krycek. Somehow Bob musters up the strength to leave and go to work, knowing he will never see Mulder and Krycek again. Let's pause to take note that Mulder and Krycek have been dead for quite sometime now, and this seems to be a daily ritual of Bob's. TIME CUT TO:
INT. HAPPY GILLIGAN'S GROCERIES - 7AMBob, Mulder and Krycek are in the store. Bob is preparing to open. Outside the store a handful of impatient customers wait, watching Bob's every move as if he were an exotic animal in a zoo. Bob pays absolutely no attention to them because frankly, he doesn't care.
As Bob carries the money drawer to the cashier, we see a small picture of Mulder and Krycek taped to the counter.
KRYCEK
(to Mulder)
And we thought blind dates with
the magazine girls were bad and
near stalking...
MULDER
Hey! Leave the Bob-Meister
alone... we were his only friends.
Behind them they hear Bob blow his nose, Mulder and Krycek turn around and see Bob wiping a tear from his eye. Mulder holds his hand to his heart and looks sad as well, Krycek gives them both a strange look.
BOB
(being poetic)
Another day, another bologne.
Another opening, another day goes by.
Life goes on, but your's did not.
I miss your messes, please come back.
And with that Bob takes the store's keys and goes to open the door. Mulder and Krycek look on.
MULDER
(touched)
That was so poetic...
KRYCEK
(touched)
I know man...
Krycek gives Mulder a hug and it is returened. For a moment they stand there like that not caring who could see them (well they are dead). Then it gets awkward, and Krycek punches Mulder in the stomach.
KRYCEK
(forceful/embarrassed)
Don't you ever hug me again!
Krycek wanders off down the cereal aisle... searching for some Cheerios. TIME CUT: NOON
Bob is standing in the middle of the store with a mop, but he's not mopping. It could be possible that he can sleep with his eyes open while standing up.
KRYCEK
Why's he just standing there?
MULDER
Not many things scare me, Krycek.
But this... this scares me.
KRYCEK
I swear I saw the store manager
come in two hours ago... where'd
she go?
MULDER
Oh... I think she's still on
the phone in the back room.
KRYCEK
I thought you couldn't make any
personal calls on a shift...
SUDDENLY Bob wipes the mop once, quickly across the floor, he does not blink. Mulder jumps to avoid being hit by the fast moving mop.
MULDER
Well at least we know
he's still alive.
The door to the store swings open letting in the warm summer air. A young girl (14, blond hair, blue eyes) comes running in, Bob finally smiles for the first time that day.
BOB
(happy)
Stephanie!
STEPHANIE
(eyeing candy at the counter)
Bob! Your boss is actually
making you work today?
BOB
Yep.
Bob walks to the counter and gives Stephanie a Snickers bar, for free.
MULDER
(gasps/in shock)
He gave her a chocolate bar!
KRYCEK
(disgusted/ in shock)
That's just wrong! He's so
much older than she is!
For some odd reason we don't know about, Mulder and Krycek are creeped out by the fact that Bob gave a young girl a chocolate bar. After a moment of pure fright and some shuddering, the boys shrug it off. TIME CUT: 6PM
Yes, our dear Bob is still "working", at this particular moment, he's ringing up a customer and there's another person in line behind her, this must be the biggest rush all day!
BOB
(to customer)
Your total comes to $139.91.
Mulder and Krycek are gawking at the party food this person is buying: nacho cheese Doritos, Cheetoes, candy, caffeinated soda (such as Mountain Dew). Just as the next customer is up, Bob's manager finally makes her way out of the back room (NOTE: She's been there the whole time). The manager takes one look around the store and seems mad and irritated, she marches right up to Bob as he's ringing up the customer.
MANAGER
(bitchy)
Bob, I did ask you to mop
the floor and restock the
soda. Why isn't it done? When
I give you a task to complete,
I expect it to be done by the time
my shift is up. Are we clear on that?
BOB
I couldn't restock because
I'm the only one out here
working. Can't leave the store
unattended, ma'am.
CUSTOMER
(humored/ to manager)
Dude! He "ma-am"ed you!
The customer takes his grocery bag and leaves.
MANAGER
I'm going home now, make
sure you restock the store
after close.
And she walks out of the store, done with her "hard" day at work. Mulder and Krycek are making faces at her as she goes.
KRYCEK
Did he get a meal break?
MULDER
No, he did not get a meal break.
KRYCEK/MULDER
(to you, the reader)
She's starving him to death!
Behind them, Bob has opened a bag of Tostitos and is munching away. Mulder and Krycek's heads turn to see him, they laugh.
MULDER/KRYCEK
(proud)
That's our Bob.
TIME CUT: 7PM Mulder and Krycek are bored and are walking up and down the aisles.
MULDER
I really want to buy something...
KRYCEK
Aren't you the least bit worried
about why we can't leave this guy?
We've been in this store for 12 hours.
MULDER
It's not like we're wasting time.
KRYCEK
Yeah, well I'd like to get back to
the others... this is just creeping
me out, he's eating chocolate again!
Mulder steps back in fear, how could Bob eat chocolate by himself? He must be a lonely man.
MULDER
(scared)
He's eating chocolate... alone?
Ewwwwwwww....
KRYCEK
Hey, I know you've done that
before, so don't act like it's
a taboo or something.
Mulder's face goes red, he's so embarrassed.
MULDER
How do you know that?
KRYCEK
I have my ways...
MULDER
Don't tell anyone, ok?
Krycek rolls his eyes. They walk past two teenage boys, who have opened up the plastic wrap from a porno magazine and are flipping through it, pointing at what they see. This of course catches Mulder's attention.
MULDER
(happy)
Porn...
Mulder stops walking and stands behind the boys, looking on. In the Afterlife, sex isn't possible.
KRYCEK
(still walking)
Grow up, Mulder.
MULDER
Can't buddy... I'm dead.
Suddenly, a Masked Man enters the store, holding a gun at Bob (who has dropped a soda can upon this man's entry). The Masked Man is yelling at Bob, telling him to hand over all the cash. Bob doesn't know what to do, so he holds his hands in the air. Krycek takes notice and his FBI instincts kick in.
KRYCEK
(yelling)
FBI! Drop you weapon!
Krycek attempts to go for his gun, but it's not there. Mulder runs up next to Krycek.
MULDER
CRAP!!
Before they know it, Scully and Marita have appeared, walking through the front door, closely followed by Doggett, who has his gun drawn.
DOGGETT
(drill sergeant mode)
FBI! Drop your weapon!
The Masked Man turns and aims his gun at Doggett.
MASKED MAN
(edited for public reading)
Fudge you, arsenic!
MULDER
(confused by the edited language/ looks at you, the reader)
Arsenic?
The Masked Man fires at Doggett, he's hit in the gut and falls to the ground, but not before he shoots the Masked Man in the leg to prevent him from running. Bob ducks and hides behind the counter. In the next moment, Monica Reyes and Skinner (waiting for the door to open since he doesn't like to walk through things), enter. Monica has her gun pulled, she kneels next to Doggett, who is on the verge of passing out. Monica checks his neck for pulse.
MONICA
(quiet/worried)
You're gonna be alright, Johnny...
Bob stands up.
MONICA
(to Bob)
You! Call 911, we've got
an injured man here.
Bob nods his head, he's seen Doggett in the store before, and he knows he was a friend to Mulder and Krycek. Marita is standing next to Monica, who is applying pressure to Doggett's wound.
MARITA
(panic/squeaky voice/arms spazzing)
Dana! Will he be ok?!
Mulder and Krycek start looking around as if they are expecting Doggett's soul to join them, aren't they the optimistic ones?
SCULLY
(to Mulder & Krycek)
Why didn't you guys do anything?
KRYCEK
Oh like you did.
Scully ignores that and she and Marita kneel down next to Doggett.
SKINNER
(half to self)
Oh to get so much attention
from three beautiful women...
Krycek overhears this and gets a mad look/possessive look on his face.
KRYCEK
Hey. Rule Number One.
Skinner doesn't know this rule and gives Krycek a confused look. And as a refresher for you the reader, Rule Number One is no one can touch Marita, only Krycek. Bob hangs up the phone and goes to a freezer and grabs a bag of ice, the two teenage boys run out of the store, taking with them the porno magazine.
Bob brings the ice to Monica.
BOB
The dispatcher instructed me
to apply pressure to the wound.
MONICA
Why ice?
BOB
I saw it done on TV once...
Cartoon Network.
Doggett's eyes open a bit upon hearing "Cartoon Network". POV - DOGGETT
Monica and Bob are hovering above him at his right, Doggett slowly turns his head to the left and for a split half second, he sees the transparent vision of Scully and Marita. Doggett lifts his head up about 1cm, reacting to them.
DOGGETT
(woozy)
Dana...? Marita...?
Behind them Mulder, Krycek and Skinner are pouting, they believe Doggett doesn't remember them. We hear police and ambulance sirens in the background.
KRYCEK
(to Scully & Marita)
I'm tellin' ya... he's got a
thing for you two... ever since
Strip Spin The Bottle-
SCULLY
-Krycek that whole incident brings
up scarring images of you and Marita-
KRYCEK
-You shouldn't have watched-
SCULLY
-You shouldn't have done it
on John's living room floor -
KRYCEK
-Since when do you call him "John"?!
Krycek and Scully keep bickering with eachother about the happenings of the night they all spent the night at Doggett's (3x19 Game Night).
SKINNER
(to Marita)
What are they talking about?
MARITA
(embarrassed)
Nothing...
The paramedics enter the store and tend to Doggett and the Masked Man. Off of all the noise of so much going on we: FADE OUT
FADE IN
INT. HOSPITAL - 1 WEEK LATER
The beeping of medical machines are all we hear.
POV - DOGGETT
As his eyes flutter open, we have a blurred vision of his room, we see that Monica Reyes is sitting at his side, her hand holding his.
MONICA
Hey... look who's finally come to...
She gives him a warm smile, and then we see Bob (dressed as an employee of the hospital) come into the room.
BOB
Hey the JD-Man's come outta
downtown. What's happenin'?
Monica laughs, Bob has kept her spirits up when all hope seemed gone.
DOGGETT
(hoarse voice)
Well, I'm alive, I guess...
BOB
You guess... I was here for you
man, I did all the operating-
MONICA
(to Doggett/quiet)
- applied ice -
BOB
(continued)
- and you know why? Because
you are a friend of my pals
Fox and Alex.
Monica stands up.
MONICA
(excusing herself)
Nature calls.
She leaves the room.
BOB
You know because I was friends
with Fox and Alex... that makes
you and me friends.
Doggett looks around the room... who is this guy? He looks a bit frightened as Bob sits down next to him on the bed and wraps his arm around him.
BOB
This could be the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.
Off Doggett's look: FADE OUT:
THE END.
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