Review By: Cerasi J. |
 |
Title: "A Jammed Door"
Written by: Cassie
Date: First Draft - May 11, 2003; May 15, 2003; May 17-18, 2003. Final Draft - July 14, 2003
Air Date: September 22, 2003
Rating: PG-13
Series: FRVS - Episode #103
Spoilers: Past episodes of FRVS may be spoiled.
Feedback: We love it. Please e-mail us at frvs.feedback@gmail.com (please include the episode name in the subject) Thank you.
Archiving: "Fox & Rat" Virtual Series only!
Disclaimer: We do not own anyone. They belong to Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions, and 20th Century FOX Broadcasting.
Author's Note: This story is inspired by almost actual events of our apartment complex. Some incidents have been exaggerated for use in the world of FRVS.
Summary: Locked in the bathroom with Scully, Monica, Brad, and screaming Marita.
FADE IN:
INT - YMCA - 9:27 A.M. - THURSDAY
Scully, Monica and Brad are in a Hatha Yoga class. There are three mintues left and they are lying on their back on their yoga mats. Brad and Monica look pretty darn exhausted while Scully looks well relaxed. Some airy meditation music is playing softly in the room.
INSTRUCTOR
(soothing/calm)
Now take one last deep breath and
slowly come to a sitting position.
Monica and Brad are quicker than others in the room to sit up. They look around and give each other a look. Why is everyone else taking their time? Slowly Scully sits up and looks over at them and smiles.
INSTRUCTOR
That's the end of class. I hope
you all have a great weekend.
Scully, Monica and Brad roll up their yoga mats and return them to a storage closet and then go to put their shoes back on.
SCULLY
So what did you guys think of the class?
MONICA
I could get used to doing it.
BRAD
I think I'd rather stick to jogging in the park.
MONICA
That Down-Dog position was harder
to do than I originally thought. (beat)
How long have you been doing this, Dana?
SCULLY
Oh several years now. On and off.
Actually it was Mulder who brought
me to my first class. He's much better
than I am at this.
Brad starts laughing and shaking his head.
BRAD
What is it with Mulder? I mean the guy
is too random. I think everyday I've known
him, I've learned something new about him.
SCULLY
That's the interesting thing about him, Brad.
And there's still so much more that you
don't know.
MONICA
Well I'm sure we'll find out in good time.
BRAD
I don't like how obsessive he is about
that Super Friends thing.
SCULLY
Super Buddies. Don't make the mistake
of saying it wrong in front of him.
BRAD
So, just avoid it all together?
Scully nods her head. They head out the door and out to the parking lot and get into Brad's car and leave. CUT TO:
INT - DOGGETT'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - 9:43 A.M.
John is sitting at his dining table, cleaning his gun. A small black and white television is on and he's placed it on the dining table. He's watching MSNBC. Buddy is lying down on the floor next to John's chair.
There is a knock on his front door and then the ringing of his doorbell.
Doggett stands up to answer it. He opens the door and sees Marita. This surprises him.
MARITA
(too sweet/too innocent)
Have you seen Dana or Monica this morning?
What about Fox and Alex? I went to their
apartment earlier and they weren't there.
DOGGETT
No. Is something wrong?
MARITA
(lying)
No. Nothing is wrong. Thank you.
Marita turns around and walks away. Doggett shakes the confused look off his face and then closes the door and goes back to cleaning his gun. CUT TO:
INT - SCULLY/MARITA/MONICA'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - 10:21 A.M.
All is quiet and no one is to be seen. The front door to the apartment opens and Scully, Monica and Brad enter. Talking and having a jolly-good time.
SUDDENLY the door to Marita's bedroom flies open. Marita stands before them, pauses for a split second and then lets rip one of the most awful, deafening high pitch screams you've ever heard.
Immediately Brad covers his ears and then they all have to duck behind the couch to prevent being hit by a... stereo speaker! Once they are clear from that, Scully motions for them to follow her lead in taking Marita down and finding some way to calm her... If only they had sedatives.
Moments later Scully, Monica and Brad are carrying Marita by arms and legs into the bathroom. It's quite the struggle but eventually they get her in and dump her into the bathtub which is filled with cold water.
Marita shreiks and flies out of the tub and whacks Brad in the face and then she trips and falls, slamming the door shut with a HARD BANG! Scully and Monica have no time to check and see if Brad is all right before Marita is back on her feet.
MARITA
(angry/screaming)
You stupid mean female dogs!
She jumps at Scully, her hand ready to claw her eyes out. Instead, Monica trips her and Marita falls backward into the bathtub. This shuts her up for a moment. She takes in a deep breath and is about to let out another loud scream, but... she closes her mouth and directs her eyes to the ceiling above her. The neighbors are fighting. The neighbors are fighting really loud.
MARITA
(quiet)
Oh my goodness they are loud.
Scully and Monica have also halted their actions against Marita, they are listening too.
SCULLY
Geez they're loud.
MONICA
I thought they were just stompers.
MARITA
No, the other day I heard some loud
rap music... I saw the guy... he looks
like he has some problems and I
don't mean mental.
Moaning comes from Brad, who is still on the bathroom floor. He sits up, holding his hand on his forehead.
BRAD
(to Marita)
Suddenly calm are we?
All three of them shush him, they want to know what their neighbors are fighting about.
BRAD
What's going on?
SCULLY
Shhhh!
MARITA
We're trying to listen. Be quiet.
Brad looks at Monica - she's too concentrated on being nosey to realize she's being looked at. The phone in the living room rings... and rings... and rings... and rings... None of the girls make a move to go answer it.
BRAD
You guys are unbelievable. This...
this spying is going to come back
at you someday.
No one listens to him.
BRAD
Mon'? Dana? Your phone is ringing.
Scully stands up.
SCULLY
(not happy)
Ok, fine.
She goes to open the door to the bathroom. It doesn't open. She laughs to herself, not a happy laugh. She tugs at the door handle again. Nothing. Not wanting to have anyone see her struggling with the door, she decides to stop. She turns around - crosses her arms and looks suspicious. The phone rings one last time and then the answering machine picks up.
ANSWERING MACHINE
(Marita's voice)
Hi this is Marita. Dana and Monica
are bitches and I hate them. If you
want to talk to them, tough. However,
if you would like to leave me a message
please do so after the beep. Thank you.
Brad looks back at Scully, she smiles at him and waves and then lowers her eyes to the ground.
BRAD
You're going to let the machine get it?
SCULLY
Sure. Why not?
Monica turns around, angry.
MONICA
Shut up!
Marita turns around too.
MARITA
Yeah!
The both of them return to eavesdropping on their neighbors loud fight.
BRAD
Dana? You're an adult. You mind
telling them to stop? They might
listen to you.
SCULLY
Shh... I'm trying to hear the answering machine.
Scully has her ear to the bathroom door. Brad joins her, placing his ear on the door as well.
DOGGETT
(on machine)
Hello? Dana? (beat) Ok, anyway.
You said you were going to be home
today. I guess you must be out running
errands. I'll call back later.
Doggett hangs up.
BRAD
You should go call him back.
SCULLY
I can't.
BRAD
(surprised)
You don't want to?
SCULLY
I want to, but I can't.
She reaches down and tries to open the door.
BRAD
It's jammed?
Scully nods her head.
BRAD
Let me take care of it for you.
SCULLY
Ok.
She stands back and watches Brad struggle to open the door. It won't budge. The neighbors upstairs are louder and louder. With some stomping.
NEIGHBOR MAN
(muffled)
You fucking bitch, I know
you're cheating on me!
Brad pauses having overheard this. He is appauled.
BRAD
(points to ceiling)
He's an asshole! (beat) Are they married?
MARITA
I hope not.
MONICA
She should pull a Loreena Bobbit on him.
Brad winces at the thought of that.
SCULLY
I missed it what'd he say?
BRAD
He called her a f-ing bitch
for cheating on him.
SCULLY
Sounds to me like he's the cheater.
(beat) Married people always fight.
No wonder the divorce rate in this
country has risen... people can't help
but be unfaithful -
BRAD
- Not all marriages end in divorce.
Some end when death do them part.
The neighbors are shouting and they hear something hit a wall and break.
BRAD
Not all married couples fight
like these people.
Brad is right, some people are mature enough to deal with the issues of marriage. CUT TO:
EXT - SOME RANDOM STREET - 11 A.M.
Mulder and Krycek are still walking around, exhausted from the previous night's "Pizza Delivery Boy" hunt.
KRYCEK
Are you sure you know
where we are?
MULDER
Yes, our street is right
around this corner.
They turn the corner.
KRYCEK
Mulder, I may be stupid, but I'm not
that stupid. I know what our neighborhood
looks like. Now tell me the truth. Do you
know where we are?
MULDER
Planet... Earth...
Krycek rolls his eyes and continues walking.
KRYCEK
I'm hungry.
MULDER
Maybe I should have been bad and
killed those evil ducks. (beat) Have
you ever eaten duck?
KRYCEK
Yep.
They continue walking.
MULDER
Alex?
KRYCEK
What?
MULDER
Can I hold your hand?
Krycek gives him a threatening look. No way! CUT TO:
INT - SCULLY/MARITA/MONICA'S APT - BATHROOM - 11:47 A.M.
All is quiet. The neighbors have left the listening area for the time being.
SCULLY
So you're saying if you get married,
you'd never use bad language when
arguing with your spouse?
BRAD
That's correct.
SCULLY
I doubt that.
BRAD
You doubt that? What about
me makes you think I'd use obscenities?
SCULLY
Well for starters you grew up listening to your
parents fight. Kids learn from their parents and
apply it to their own relationships perhaps
without even knowing it.
MONICA
That's an unfair assumption.
BRAD
I grew up watching my parents and realized
I don't want to be like them.
SCULLY
Still, it happens.
MARITA
(snotty)
You're just bitter because you haven't found
happiness with a man. (beat) I have Robert
Alfredo and Monica and Bradley have each other.
Your two best friends have lovers and you're all alone.
Scully bites her lower lip.
SCULLY
Maybe I should try working things
out with Walter again.
MONICA
No! You can't do that!
SCULLY
Why not? It's not like he's with anyone
right now and it's not like I'm involved
with anyone right now.
MONICA
B-but remember. Once a cheater, always a cheater?
SCULLY
I know. I said that several times in my life.
MONICA
Walter cheated on you, he's a cheater.
SCULLY
Maybe he's changed. I mean he was
with Marita maybe he realized what
he could have had with me.
Monica slaps Scully upside the head.
SCULLY
Ow!
MONICA
Be strong Dana, you deserve better.
SCULLY
Do I? Maybe I don't. (beat) I haven't
exactly lead the most innocent of lives...
maybe it's fate that I end up unhappy.
MARITA
(sweet)
I think that's true.
MONICA
No. Everyone deserves happiness. Even
guys like Alex Krycek. It's happiness
inside of us that makes us better people.
SCULLY
(insulted)
Wow. So you're saying that I'm not
as good as you?
MONICA
No.
SCULLY
You said being happy makes us better.
I don't know if I've ever honestly been
happy in my life.
Scully whimpers, sniffs and then tears start falling from her eyes. Brad goes to her and puts his arm around her.
MONICA
Trust me, someday you'll be
with the right man.
SCULLY
(upset)
No I won't! You already snagged Brad!
Scully continues crying. Monica laughs. Brad looks at Monica, he can't believe she's laughing. Scully glares at Monica. SUDDENLY! A door in the apartment above them slams shut. Startling everyone. Marita squeaks.
NEIGHBOR WOMAN
(muffled)
Leave me alone!
MAN NEIGHBOR
(muffled)
Listen bitch! I don't know who she is!
Maybe you hired her to come up to
me so you could throw out all this
drama queen shit!
No talking. We hear the MAN NEIGHBOR kick the door.
MAN NEIGHBOR
(muffled)
Open the Goddamned door!
Marita is scared.
MARITA
Oh my goodness, he's cursing.
All of them look over at Marita. Why does she act as if she's never heard bad words. Marita covers her ears with her hands. The phone in their apartment starts ringing again. The machine picks up... and beeps.
DOGGETT
(on machine)
Hey Mon'? Ya there? Look you better not
be screening your calls. (beat) Will you just
pick up. (beat) Monica, let go of Dana so
she can pick up the phone.
Monica glares in the direction of their phone.
MONICA
I can't believe him. For all he knows
we could actually be out and he
immediately thinks I'm pulling some joke.
DOGGETT
(on machine)
Ok, maybe you're not home yet. I'll
call back around one. If you don't
answer I know you're up to something.
He hangs up.
MONICA
He can be such a hassle sometimes.
They sit there, straining to hear the neighbors again.
MARITA
I'm getting hungry for lunch.
SCULLY
Too bad, we're locked in here.
MARITA
Well then, that's your fault isn't it?
MONICA
No. Marita you threw a violent
fit and got us stuck in here.
MARITA
No. Brad's head hit the door and
jammed it when he fell down.
MONICA
And how do you suppose that happened?
MARITA
You upset me because you and Dana
weren't here when I woke up.
MONICA
No reason to scream and throw things -
BRAD
- Don't forget flail about -
MONICA
- Flail about. (to Brad) Thanks honey. (beat)
Marita, if we starve to death, it will be all
your fault.
MARITA
(sweet)
I won't die of starvation. I'll canabalize
before that happens.
BRAD
This is the reason why bathrooms
need to have windows with access
to the fire escape.
MARITA
Don't worry Brad, I'll eat you first
because men have shorter lives than
women anyway. Best to be as close
to Mother Nature's plan as we can be.
SCULLY
Wow. I have no response to that.
WOMAN NEIGHBOR
(muffled)
No! Scott! You can't leave me!
Brad, Monica, Dana and Marita redirect their attention to above.
MONICA
Weak woman.
MARITA
(cheery)
Dana, remember the Scott you dated once?
Scully is noticably uncomfortable with the mention of an old boyfriend named Scott.
SCULLY
(dead serious)
I'd rather not talk about that, Marita Lynn.
MARITA
(happy)
I think he was a great guy. Why'd
you two ever break up?
Scully ignores her. Monica takes notice of Scully's reaction to this discussion. It worries her. She'll ask about Scott later, when they are alone.
SCULLY
So...
MAN NEIGHBOR
(muffled)
Look, you've pissed me off. The only
reason you want me to stay is so I can
continue to pay your rent!
MONICA
I wonder how old they are...
MARITA
It's amazing how well we can hear them.
BRAD
It's funny they're fighting in the bathroom.
Don't they know that makes it easier
for others to hear them?
SCULLY
Maybe they don't care.
MARITA
That's so rude.
All three of them give her a look, but she's oblivious to the fact that she is exactly the same way. CUT TO:
INT - DOGGETT'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - 1 P.M.
Doggett is sitting on his couch, the TV is on, he's watching the Oliver Stone film "JFK". On his coffee table is the video of the 1997 James Cameron film "Titanic". John is still hoping he'll get ahold of Scully to see if she would like to come over and watch it with him.
Buddy jumps up on the couch, the phone receiver in his mouth, he drops it in John's lap. Doggett picks it up and dials Scully's number. The answering machine picks up again.
DOGGETT
Dana, it's John again. (beat) You know, nevermind.
If you got my other message you would have called back.
He hangs up. He dials another number. Another machine answers.
BRAD
(muffled/answering machine)
This is Brad!
MONICA
(muffled/answering machine)
And this is Monica!
BRAD
(muffled/ answering machine)
We're not home right now. Leave
a message and we'll get back
to you asap.
Beeeeeeeeeeep!
DOGGETT
Didn't know Mon' helped with your message.
Anyway I wasn't callin' for any particular
reason. Just wondering if Dana and Mon' were
over there. No need to call me back.
He hangs up.
DOGGETT
(to his dog)
What do ya think, Bud'? Think I should
go over and see if something is wrong?
Or should I call in another hour incase
Dana is at the Y working out?
Buddy makes a noise.
DOGGETT
Ya think? I agree. I'll call in another hour.He kicks his feet up on the couch and relaxes.
CUT TO:
EXT - RANDOM ALLY - 1:50 P.M.
Mulder is halfway inside a large, smelly dumpster. His legs and feet are all we see.
KRYCEK
Find anything edible?
MULDER
(echoey)
Nope-er-ie!
Mulder slides out.
MULDER
I was thinking... we could make a movie
about lost people on the east coast and
it would be about what they experience.
KRYCEK
Why would anyone want to watch a movie
like that, let alone write that pointless crap?
MULDER
I don't know. It would entertain me.
KRYCEK
You're a fool. That's why.
MULDER
Am not.
KRYCEK
Are too.
MULDER
Am not.
KRYCEK
Are too.
MULDER
Do you think if we ran into Madonna again,
that she'd let us ride in her limo, to get back home?
KRYCEK
If I were famous and fans of mine
wanted help, I woudln't do it.
MULDER
But you are famous. You directed and
starred in your own movie "Robot 2000".
KRYCEK
Yeah... that's right. I'm Da Man!
They continue walking.
MULDER
Say, did I tell you I have ten dollars in my pocket?
KRYCEK
Then why were you digging in a
dumpster looking for food?
MULDER
I don't know.
KRYCEK
Let's find a McDonalds or something.
MULDER
Can I get a Happy Meal?
KRYCEK
Sure.
MULDER
Ok, Daddy. You're the best.
(beat) Actually Brad is more
a father to me than you are...
They continue to walk... and they don't realize it but... they just walked right past a McDonalds. CUT TO:
INT - SCULLY/MARITA/MONICA'S BATHROOM - 2:13 P.M.
The neighbors have left again. Monica is sitting on the sink counter. Scully is sitting on the closed toilet seat. Marita is lying down in the bathtub. Brad is sitting on the floor.
MARITA
(singing)
Mock!
SCULLY
(singing)
Yeah!
MARITA
(singing)
Ing!
SCULLY
(singing)
Yeah!
MARITA
(singing)
Bird!
SCULLY
(singing)
Yeah!
MARITA
(singing)
Yeah!
SCULLY
(singing)
Yeah!
MARITA/SCULLY
(singing)
Mockingbird yeah!
MARITA
(singing)
Everybody have you heard
SCULLY
(singing)
-Have you heard.
MARITA
(singing)
He's gonna buy me a mockingbird
SCULLY
(singing)
-Mocking bird.
MARITA
(singing)
And if that mockingbird don't sing
SCULLY
(singing)
-Mocking bird don't sing.
MARITA
(singing/overly happy)
He's gonna buy me a diamond ring!
Monica and Brad share a look.
MONICA
(quiet/to Brad)
They're like "Dumb and Dumber".Brad nods his head in agreement.
MONICA
(loud)
Marita, how did you and Robert hook up?
SCULLY
(suddenly stops singing/to Marita)
You're with Agent Alfredo now?
MARITA
Not just with. We're in love.
MONICA
How'd that happen?
MARITA
Well once upon a time there was a princess.
That princess was to marry an ugly gargoyle
prince but instead the gargoyle prince chose
to be with some old peasant woman. The
beautiful princess was so upset that she ran
away to a beautiful French kingdom with an
equally handsome prince from Russia. Having
realized the Russian prince was only with her
fo rhis own devious reasons, the princess fled
in search of a elegant unicorn with wings to
carry her to a Mediterranean island. The princess
enjoyed the splendors at Aphrodite's Birthplace
and then the Goddess herself spoke to the princess
telling her to go fall in love with Robert Alfredo.
MONICA
Wow, that was delusional.
MARITA
Shut up you old peasant woman!
Scully and Brad share a look. Wow... Scully mouths off "so she was in Cyprus afterall...".
MARITA
The catch is the princess isn't meant to be
with Alfredo for all eternity because of her
one and only true love... King John Doggett of
the Bow-Wow Kingdom. The beautiful princess
and King John Doggett will fall in love and create
dozens of sweet little babies.
BRAD
Should we call John and warn him
that a loon is after him...?
MONICA
Dana, are you sure we don't have any sedatives?
Scully can sense now that Marita has figured out her feelings for John. That only means that Marita will ruin things for her in that area of her life as well. Just as she did with her and Walter. Maybe she and John should run away together. Wed in Hawaii... honeymoon in Paris or on a Caribbean cruise and then buy a little home in Cyprus so John can always have the best cheese pizza in the world -
MONICA
Dana?
Then of course by some miracle in the universe or by some miraculous alignment of the stars, she'll be able to have children and she and John will raise two beautiful children. One girl, Katie and one boy, John Junior. They would be fluent in both English and Greek since they'd be living in Cyprus.
MONICA
Dana? (beat) Snap out of it.
SCULLY
(snaps out of her thoughts)
Huh?
MONICA
Are you sure we don't have sedatives?
SCULLY
Sure.
MONICA
Where?
SCULLY
Where what?
MONICA
Weren't you listening?
SCULLY
I was thinking about Cyprus, why?
MONICA
Nevermind.
The neighbors have returned and Brad and Marita are paying close attention.
BRAD
(quiet)
He's not on the lease...?
MARITA
All she has to do is ask him to
leave and if he doesn't she can
call the cops.
BRAD
Yeah, but... he's paying her rent.
MARITA
So.
Once again the phone rings.
MONICA
Great. I bet that's John calling to
blame me for not answering the phone.
SCULLY
He's not going to blame you. I told
him I'd be home this afternoon if he
wanted to call and make plans to do something.
DOGGETT
(on answering machine)
Monica. I dislike you. You probably
told Dana to go do something else.
That's not nice.
He hangs up. Monica looks at Scully.
MONICA
See.
SCULLY
He doesn't mean it.
MONICA
You're just saying that because
you like him...
SCULLY
No. I'm saying that because...
because John isn't like that.
Monica lets out a loud and truthful laugh.
MONICA
Dana honey... I don't think Johnny
has shown you his real self.
SCULLY
Yes he has...
BRAD
No. He's shown you his better side, but
Dana, he's not always the way he is
with you. He's stubborn.
MONICA
Easily irritated -
BRAD
- Quick to blame others -
MONICA
- Quick to blame himself -
BRAD
- Closed off -
MONICA
- Hits me when he's frustrated -
BRAD
- Uptight -
MONICA
- Selfish -
BRAD
- Narrow-minded -
MONICA
- Shuts people out of his life -
BRAD
- Negative towards possible positives in his life -
SCULLY
- Ok. You don't need to tell me this.
MARITA
He sounds like a bitter old man.
MONICA
He probably will be.
SCULLY
(getting upset/quieter)
Can you stop saying negative things
about John. He's a good person.
BRAD
(thinking outloud)
Scared of heights... only likes cheese
pizza... cleans his gun on Saturdays...
watches "Titanic"... closet Celine Dion
fan... over-protective... doesn't care much
for his family... holds himself back because
of his son's unsolved case...
Scully whacks Brad on the arm, it hurts her that he is saying these things about John.
BRAD
Mon', you're right. They do belong
together. She has his sporadic violent side.
MONICA
She's oblivious too.
Scully glares at them.
SCULLY
(unsure)
I'm not oblivious.
BRAD
So you know John likes you, right?
SCULLY
Yes.
They are quiet. TIME CUT: 5 P.M.
Marita's stomach makes a hungry noise.
MARITA
(looks at Brad)
Mother Nature's calling...
BRAD
(irritable)
I have to piss.
SCULLY
I think I'm missing a rerun of CSI.
MONICA
I hope Johnny shows up to hurt me so
he finds us in here and saves us from
Marita's cannibalism.
They hear a knock on their apartment door.
DOGGETT
(muffled/concerned)
Dana?! Monica?!
Monica hops up and runs to the bathroom door and pounds on it with her fists.
MONICA
(yelling)
We're in here! Help!
We hear the front door get kicked down. John heard her cries for help. INT - LIVING ROOM
Doggett has his clean gun drawn and is checking the place for intruders.
DOGGETT
(worried)
Dana?!
INT - BATHROOM Scully goes to Monica's side.
SCULLY
John!
DOGGETT
(muffled behind the door)
Are you ok?
SCULLY
We're locked in the bathroom!
DOGGETT
How'd you manage that?
SCULLY
Long story. Can you get us out?
DOGGETT
No problem.
They hear Doggett fidgeting with the door.
BRAD
I wouldn't get your hopes up.
I said the same thing.
Then, the door is taken off of its hinges. Doggett goes to Scully to make sure she's all right. He's checking her over for injuries. She has none.
DOGGETT
You look exhausted, Dana. Why don't
you lie down on the couch and I'll
get you a glass of ice water.
SCULLY
(to Brad/proud of John)
A man who can get things done
and can save his friends. Nothin'
to complain about there.
Doggett takes Scully by the hand and leads her to the couch. She's lies down. Doggett goes to the kitchen to get her water. Monica exits the bathroom, she looks irritated that John didn't make sure everyone else was ok.
MONICA
Notice that he didn't check to
see if I was ok.
BRAD
(kidding)
You're a Reyes, nothing ever
bothers you. You told me that yourself.
Brad puts his arm around her. Meanwhile, Marita enters the kitchen. Doggett is exiting.
MARITA
Why hello there my king.
Doggett doesn't hear her. He takes a glass of water to Scully. He sits down next to her on the edge of the couch.
SCULLY
(to Doggett)
Can you turn on CBS please.
I think CSI is on.
Doggett does as asked.
SCULLY
Thank you.
DOGGETT
You're welcome.
He sits down again and places her feet in his lap. He takes off her shoes. Scully giggles.
SCULLY
Don't. My feet smell.
DOGGETT
So...
Monica watches, disgusted. Brad puts his arm around her again, seeing the distress this is causing her.
BRAD
Give them a break. Remember how we
were before we got together in high
school? I'm sure John felt exactly the way
you do right now, seeing us interact.
Doggett starts massaging Scully's feet.
MONICA
Good thing she's now Marcellus' wife,
otherwise Johnny might be thrown out
the window.
BRAD
What?
MONICA
"Pulp Fiction".
BRAD
(doubting)
Oh yeah... so you're suggesting that
you think John and Dana are already
sleeping together?
MONICA
(excited)
You think so too?!Off their pondering looks...
TIME CUT TO:
INT - MULDER/KRYCEK'S APARTMENT - 10 P.M.
Mulder and Krycek have finally found their way back home after over a day of wandering about.
KRYCEK
Home sweet home.
MULDER
I can't believe that cab driver
wants us to go back down
there and pay him $177.65.
They shut the apartment door behind them.
KRYCEK
Good thing he's dumb.
MULDER
I know.
They plop down on the couch and turn on the TV. Infomercials. The GoGo's Pizza pizza box is on the coffee table, they didn't throw it away. Of course, they don't realize it or remember why they wandered around in the first place.
KRYCEK
It's funny. He doesn't know which apartment
we live in so he can't come looking for us
when he realizes we aren't coming back
down to pay him for the ride.
They wait a beat, then tilt their heads back and laugh the same stupid laugh. FADE OUT:
THE END.
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