Review By: Gothic Spook "Why would she tell me 'no'?" - Brad That's what I'd like to know as well! I bet Brad would have kicked some butt if Monica hadn't yelled out for him not to. What would you do if you were pretending to believe in Santa and the person playing Santa this year fell asleep in their Santa constume and so you woke up to find "Santa" in your house? Hmm, I wonder what Mulder would do in that situation! Read on for a holiday filled episode and MERRY CHRISTMAS to all! xXx |
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Title: "Holly Jolly Christmas"
Written by: Kristi & Cassie
Date: October 23, 25, 2004; November 7, 10, 18, 21, 2004
Air Date: December 20, 2004
Rating: PG
Series: FRVS - Episode #138
Spoilers: Past episodes of FRVS may be spoiled.
Feedback: We love it. There is a form at the bottom of this story that you can use to send us feedback. Thank you.
Archiving: "Fox & Rat" Virtual Series only!
Disclaimer: We do not own anyone. They belong to Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions, and 20th Century FOX Broadcasting.
Author's Note: The personalities of the characters within the world of "Fox & Rat" are not those you know from "The X-Files" television series. We have warped them and given them a common past, immature behavior and a sense of humor. Any horrid behavior should not be mimicked in your every day life.
Summary: The Christmas party at Skinner's continues, but not without a slight problem with "Star Wars".
PREVIOUSLY ON “FOX & RAT”: Scully and Monica had plans to escape the dark and dreaded Facility. But their plans turned on them and The Cigarette-Smoking Man and Montgomery turned their Christmas cheer, to Christmas drear. And now on with the story...
FADE IN:
INT. DOGGETT HOUSE – McALLEN, TX – 8:40P.M. – CHRISTMAS EVE
The whole immediate family is seated in the living room around the Christmas tree. Ma, Pa, John, Jason, Chris, Jay, Henry Jr., Caroline, Billy, Bobby, Ted, Susie, J.J., and Emmy. A fire is in the fireplace, it’s obvious that it is really warm in the house. John and Jason look incredibly uncomfortable, wearing their brand new Christmas Eve sweaters.
The seven children are sitting in a circle around Pa, who is reading “The Night Before Christmas”. Ma looks on adoringly at the endearing scene. She leans toward John.
MA
Isn’t this heartwarming?Doggett nods his head.
MA
You’re Pa looks so happy. I think
it would make him even happier if
you took the initiative this year
and spoke to him. Fifteen years
is long enough.
DOGGETT
I’ll give it some thought, okay?
MA
Is this you talking out of your behind?
DOGGETT
Ma, it’s Christmas Eve, don’t ruin the mood.
Doggett stands up.
MA
Where are you going?
DOGGETT
I told a friend of mine
that I was going to call tonight.
Doggett heads up the narrow stairs and enters his bedroom. He takes his cell phone out of his suitcase and dials Skinner’s number. It rings four times before anyone answers. INTERCUT
INT. SKINNER’S HOUSE
Marita is running to the phone, a Santa hat on her head and a Christmas cookie in her hand. She picks up the phone.
MARITA
Skinner’s Super Merry Christmas Bash.
DOGGETT (FILTERED)
Merry Christmas, Marita. So
am I missing anything good?
MARITA
Yes, Santa is here and Mulder
talked strippers out of the profession.Doggett laughs.
DOGGETT
So how’s Krycek handling
being Santa all day today?Marita giggles.
MARITA
Not so well, but it has been
quite a means of entertainment
for everyone here.
DOGGETT
Is Brad there?
MARITA
I haven’t seen him for a few
hours now. I’m not sure where
he ran off to.
DOGGETT
I guess I’ll try his cell phone.
Tell everyone I say Merry Christmas.
MARITA
Okay. Merry Christmas to you too.Marita hangs up the phone and runs back over to Santa (Krycek). He’s sitting underneath a mistletoe now. He smiles at Marita and she walks up to him and kisses him on the cheek.
CUT TO:
EXT. BROOKLYN BRIDGE – 9:41P.M.
Brad stands in shock after having jus seen Monica and Dana taken away. Danny Taylor and Vivian Johnson run up next to him.
VIVIAN JOHNSON
What the hell just happened?
BRAD
Those were the men who are
holding them against their will.
VIVIAN JOHNSON
Did you get a plate number?
DANNY TAYLOR
Didn’t have one.Brad’s cell phone rings. He puts his gun away and answers his phone.
BRAD
Yeah?
DOGGETT
Hey Brad, it’s John. Why
aren’t you at Skinner’s party?
Brad hesitates for a moment. Should he tell him, or would John overreact, come up to New York, and put Dana and Monica in more danger. John acts with his heart, not his mind, as he should at this time.
BRAD
I uh... got a headache.
A car speeds by.
DOGGETT
Where are you?
BRAD
Taking a walk. (beat) Listen,
can I call you back?
DOGGETT
Sure. Is everything all right?
BRAD
Yeah, everything is fine. I’m
just freezing my ass off outside.
DOGGETT
All right. I guess I’ll talk
to you later. Merry Christmas.
BRAD
Merry Christmas to you too.Brad hangs up.
BRAD
We need to do something.
DANNY TAYLOR
Who was that on the phone?
BRAD
John Doggett.
VIVIAN JOHNSON
You’re not going to tell him?
They walk over to the bucar they came in.
BRAD
John acts with his heart in situations
like this, not with his head. (beat) I
don’t want to further risk Monica and Dana’s lives.
They get in the bucar and drive off. CUT TO:
INT. THE FACILITY – RESIDENT’S HALL – 10:33P.M.
The Cigarette-Smoking Man is walking down the hallway towards his living quarters. Scully is next to him, he holds her arm tight, not letting her go. She is not happy that he is not letting her return to her own living quarters. This cannot be good.
The Cigarette-Smoking Man unlocks his room door and pushes her inside. She looses her footing and almost falls down. The Cigarette-Smoking Man enters and shuts the door behind him, locking it. He glares at her, unsure what he should first say to her. He takes out a pack of Morley’s and lights up a cigarette. He is furious with Scully.
Scully is watching him, unsure of what he is going to do to her for escaping the facility and his control if only temporarily. He finishes his cigarette and puts it out in an ashtray. He walks to her and backhands her as hard as he can across the face. Scully falls to the ground, and holds her hand on her face where he hit her. Tears sting her eyes, but she does not want to be weak now. She keeps herself from crying. She slowly stands up to face him. As soon as she is on her feet he backhands her again.
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN
You have no right leaving me!
SCULLY
And you have no right keeping me here.She does not yell at him as he did to her. He hits her again, harder. She stumbles backward and falls onto his bed. She wipes blood from underneath her nose.
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN
I did not give you permission to speak!
SCULLY
I don’t have to listen to you.
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN
If you speak again when I have not
given you permission, I will order
Dr. Montgomery to kill your friend.Scully opens her mouth to speak again.
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN
You are no longer a part of the
vaccination research project. Dr.
Montgomery now has every right to
destroy Monica if he sees fit, or
if I order him to destroy her.Scully calmly stands up. She courageously walks up to the Cigarette-Smoking Man and slaps him as hard as she can. He pauses to allow the sting of her hand to settle into his skin. He looks at her and takes a breath before placing his hand on her neck and pushing her back up against the wall. He presses her neck so she can’t breathe.
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN
You are mine. You will live with me,
be the mother of my children and you
will serve me as my wife.
Scully tries her hardest to push him away from her. She’s beginning to feel light headed from the lack of oxygen. The Cigarette-Smoking Man presses harder on her neck.
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN
You try anything like that again and I
will kill your precious John Doggett. So
long as you obey my every wish, John will
go on living a good, healthy life. Are we understood?Scully tries to nod her head.
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN
Good.The Cigarette-Smoking Man lets go of her neck and Scully collapses to the floor. She rolls onto her back, gasping for air.
The Cigarette-Smoking Man goes to the door and opens it.
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN
A guard will be posted right outside this
door anytime I am not here with you. I will
know your every move.With that, the Cigarette-Smoking Man leaves the room. Scully coughs violently.
She hears him lock the door behind him, and yell orders at some security guard near him.
Scully curls her knees up to her chest. She knows from experience that now she has brought violence out of the Cigarette-Smoking Man in their relationship. This will now become a constant in her life with him. He will continue to hit her in order to keep her in his control. He knows she has no one to turn to. The silence of the room surrounds her, ringing in her ears. She swallows one last gasp of air before tears begin falling uncontrollably down her face. Her cries become the only sound she can hear.
Is it possible that the Cigarette-Smoking Man has already murdered John Doggett? It wasn’t John at the Brooklyn Bridge, it was Brad. Could John have told Brad of the message she left him incase anything happened to him? Brad could be with her and Monica if John is dead. The Cigarette-Smoking Man can’t use him against her. She needs to find a way out of this place before it kills her. She tried once before to take her own life when she saw no other way out of a bad situation. She does not want it to come to that here.
Slowly, she stands up and walks to the window that looks outside. She continues crying. There is snow all over the ground below her. The sky is crystal clear, all the stars sparkle above her on this Christmas Eve. Scully wipes the tears from her face. She must remain as strong as she can, her father would expect that of her. She walks to the bed and lies down to try to sleep, but sleep never comes.
CUT TO:
INT. MONTGOMERY’S OFFICE – THE FACILITY
John Montgomery turns off the lamp on his desk and grabs his keys. He heads to the door to enjoy what’s left of his Christmas Eve. There have already been enough set backs today, and all he wants to do is relax this evening. He should at least stop by to see how Scully is and give her his Christmas give he has for her. That is, if the Cigarette-Smoking Man hasn’t forbidden anyone to see her. He knows the Cigarette-Smoking Man couldn’t kill her, he’s a lonely man and he’s living out his fantasy of a beautiful woman loving him, and having a life with Scully.
The faint smell of cigarette smoke seeps into his office, assuring him he won’t have his peaceful evening.
Montgomery exits his office just as the Cigarette-Smoking Man approaches him with a cigarette in his hand.
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN
I’ve put you in charge of the entire
Project, Dr. Montgomery. (beat) I want
you to start testing on Ms. Reyes immediately.Montgomery can hear the anger in the Cigarette-Smoking Man’s voice he knows from his tone that things are not going to be good with Scully in her future in his custody. He knows Mr. CGB Spender can have an aggressive and perhaps violent side when he’s angry enough. Scully and Monica escaping might just do that.
MONTGOMERY
What about Dr. Scully?He knows their escape attempt could be fatal now that they’ve been caught. It all depends on the decisions of the Cigarette-Smoking Man.
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN
She is no longer working on the Project.
(beat) Go now and continue your work on
Ms. Reyes. The Project doesn’t stop for
Holidays, Doctor.The Cigarette-Smoking Man glares at him and storms out of the hallway.
Montgomery knows this situation can’t be good for Dana. He’s pretty sure the Cigarette-Smoking Man has hit her a few good times before coming to speak to him. There is a nasty red handprint on the left side of the Cigarette-Smoking Man’s face. Scully must have hit him back. Montgomery reenters the office and turns on the light.
The only good thing that has come out of this is permission for him to continue his test on Monica Reyes, find out what in her makes her immune to the alien virus. It’s a dangerous procedure to cut into her brain to find out what is active in her and not in the majority of the planet’s population. But he has to do it for the survival of the human race in the battle against alien colonization, that is a little more than a year and a half away.
Montgomery worries that maybe now Scully will not trust him since he initially helped her and Monica escape, only to show up on the Brooklyn Bridge with the Cigarette-Smoking Man to bring them back.
CUT TO:
INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – NEW YORK CITY – 10:50P.M.
The elevator on the Violent Crimes floor dings open and Brad and Danny step out into the dimly lit, empty hallway.
Vivian, with hesitation, went home to be with her family for the rest of Christmas Eve.
Danny leads Brad to the Missing Persons office.
DANNY TAYLOR
They can’t be far, right? They’re obviously
being held in New York. That much has been
confirmed tonight.Danny and Brad sit down at the table in the center of all the desk cubicles.
BRAD
We lost them going north. (beat)
Martin’s been looking into this
Strughold company for me. Is that
north of the city?Danny nods his head.
DANNY TAYLOR
I’m sure of it. (beat) Listen, I
can call in some extra bodies and
we can head there tonight. I didn’t
like the looks of what’s been going
on. Monica didn’t look healthy. And
the other one, Dana, looks like she’s
been dealing with a lot of emotional
abuse or something.Brad sighs. He can’t help but think of Monica’ warning of telling him not to do anything.
BRAD
As much as I want to go
there and get them, I can’t
help but think about why
Monica told me “no”.
Danny listens, remembering the same thing.
BRAD
Why would she tell me “no”?Brad tries to think of reasons. Maybe she knew they would be killed if they got away. Everyone there could be dead. Could she have been protecting them?
BRAD
I could’ve protected her
from them. They could be safe now...Brad’s mind can’t help but think of the “what ifs” of this situation.
DANNY TAYLOR
She knows the situation better than
us. (beat) I didn’t like the look of
those thugs who took them. But what I
don’t get is why they didn’t do anything
to us if this is some government secret.
(beat) Why not eliminate us as a problem to them?Brad thinks.
BRAD
You’re right. They could’ve knocked us
off right there, but they didn’t. (beat) Why?
DANNY TAYLOR
They only have orders to get them?
BRAD
No, they seem to have enough authority.
They could’ve killed us if they wanted to.
DANNY TAYLOR
They need us alive?
BRAD
Perhaps. But why?Brad leans back in his chair. Both men deep in thought, trying to figure out this situation and move forward.
BRAD
I ran into Dana not too long ago.Danny looks up at him.
BRAD
She was terrified at what could
happen if she was seen with me.
DANNY TAYLOR
You think they’re watching you?
BRAD
Not just me.
Brad looks at Danny.
BRAD (CON’T)
John Doggett too. (beat) Dana left
a message on John’s answering machine
about her plans of escaping tonight.
DANNY TAYLOR
Wire taps.
BRAD
Exactly. (beat) They probably know we’re
no where close to getting near them, because
in all honesty, if we go there they’ll kill
us. That’s what Monica’s warning was.Danny looks down. He’s never faced a case like this in all his years with the FBI. More than anything he wants to get Monica and Dana home safe and punish the bastards that took them. But everything is impossible.
BRAD
I don’t know how well you knew
Monica when she was here, but
she certainly has an unusual
nack for knowing things.Danny nods his head. He’s heard Monica talk about cases and has seen how she works.
DANNY TAYLOR
Feelings.Brad nods.
BRAD
Feelings, visions... (beat) Before
all of this happened, her feelings
were intensifying. I don’t know how
to say it, but I think...Brad looks up at Danny.
BRAD
Did she ever tell you about
her Grandmama?
DANNY TAYLOR
No.
BRAD
Well, she’s a psychic. (beat) Monica
has that same ability, only it went
away for a while. And recently, it
was coming back to her.
DANNY TAYLOR
So what are you saying?
BRAD
What if she knew she and Dana would
be caught? What if this was her way
of telling us not to look into this
any further, knowing that they are
on to us? (beat) There are agents
on the inside, and I have no doubt
that one of my new agents is one of
them. The timing is perfect for her
to arrive and keep an eye on things.
(beat) What if Monica knows something
bad will happen to us if we continue
looking into this?
DANNY TAYLOR
So she’s telling us to give up?
BRAD
I don’t know. (beat) She must know
that if we saw them, it would make
us more determined. Especially the
condition they are in.
DANNY TAYLOR
Maybe she’s telling us to
be more cautious. Especially
if they are on to us.
BRAD
Maybe.Danny leans back.
DANNY TAYLOR
So what do we do?
BRAD
There’s nothing we can do.Brad looks down, hating the fact that there is nothing more they can do. This situation is impossible. There is no safe way to get Dana and Monica out safely and back to a normal life. If they were to succeed in getting them out, who’s to say that they won’t have to live life on the run? Change their names and identities? They would have to live as if they were in the Witness Protection Program. And that is, of course, if they got them out alive.
BRAD
Maybe the best thing to do right
now is to lay low with this. I
don’t want to put them in more
danger than they’re already in.Danny nods his head.
BRAD
If you happen across anything new,
call me. I’ll do the same.Brad stands up from the table.
BRAD
I’ve taken up enough of your night.
DANNY TAYLOR
It’s not a problem. I just
wish things would’ve ended better.
BRAD
(hurt)
Me too. (beat) Merry Christmas.Danny smiles sympathetically. They were so close, but now they’re farther away.
DANNY TAYLOR
Merry Christmas.Brad head to the door. Danny watches him leave, then get up and goes over to his desk. He jots down everything that happened tonight in detail. Physical descriptions of the two men, description of the car, and the last place they saw them heading. He records, also, his gut reaction and feelings on the case, making sure to mention Monica and Dana’s conditions. He’ll lay low on the case, but he doesn’t want to forget this valuable encounter.
CUT TO:
INT. DOGGETT HOUSE – McALLEN, TX – 11:12P.M.
Pa Doggett is sitting alone downstairs in the living room in his chair, wearing a dark red robe. His glasses rest on the table next to his glass of milk. He is staring out the window at the night sky. The fire in the fireplace is slowly dying. He’s been sitting down here alone for a little less than an hour and a half. Ma made John, Jason, Chris and jay retire to bed at the same time she did at ten o'clock.
Pa hears the stairs creaking behind him. He turns his head and sees his son, John, enter the living room. He’s wearing his Marines T-shirt and gray flannel pajama pants. John stops heading to the kitchen when he sees his father. It’s been fifteen years since he’s spoken to his father. The best thing to do right now would be to say something to him, but words can not find their way out of his mouth.
Pa looks away from John and into the dying fire.
PA
It’s past your bed time, Johnny.
DOGGETT
I couldn’t sleep.Pa looks over at him again.
PA
Why not? Is the house not
loud enough for you like
in the city?Doggett enters the living room.
DOGGETT
Pa, I don’t want to argue
with you, okay?Pa looks away.
PA
Oh, I suppose arguing isn’t
what they do in the city
any more, huh?
DOGGETT
Pa-
PA
So what do they do now in the
big city, city boy? Stand in
the middle of rooms not knowing
what to say? Or do they continue
to keep their families out of their lives?
DOGGETT
(defensive)
I never kept you out of my
life. You were the one who-
PA
-Don’t raise your voice. Do you
want the whole farm to wake up?Pa looks at Doggett sternly.
PA
If you want to have a conversation
with me, sit down and have one.Pa looks back to the dying fire. Doggett walks more into the room and sits in the chair opposite his father.
DOGGETT
Fair enough.
PA
See, that’s what manners are. Guess
they never enforce that in the big
cities, now do they?
Doggett looks over to his father.
DOGGETT
Do you have to be so cynical
towards the decisions I’ve
made in my life all the time?Pa looks at him sternly.
PA
You ran off from your family
when you were just a boy.
DOGGETT
I wasn’t a boy, Pa. I was
in high school. And I didn’t
“run off”, I went to a high
level boarding school because
I wanted a better education.
PA
(cynical)
Better than what your Ma
and I could provide for you?Doggett looks down. This is just the fluff surface of why they haven’t spoken in fifteen years. The disapproval runs much deeper than what either one of them is touching on.
DOGGETT
I had my own life goals, Pa.
I’m not sorry that they aren’t
What you wanted.Pa lets out a quiet sarcastic chuckle.
PA
Life goals, huh? (beat) Like marrying
too young because you felt obligated.
That was one of your goals?Pa shakes his head.
DOGGETT
Everyone makes mistakes, Pa. You
know that as much as I do. (beat)
And you know that’s not what my goal
was. (beat) At least I never disrespected the family.Pa shoots a glare at his son.
PA
(mad)
You cheated on your wife.
DOGGETT
(mad)
Yeah, and so did you.The room falls silent. The tension between father and son is thick.
DOGGETT
(mad)
I mean, my god, Pa. You were married
for how many years at the time? I’ve
never disrespected the family the way you did.
PA
Really? And that’s why you live
as far away from Texas as you can?
(beat) It’s selfish, that’s what it is.
DOGGETT
Why? Because I have career goals?
I want to make something for myself?Pa looks away from Doggett.
PA
Do you think it’s easy for
your Ma and I to keep this
farm going? (beat) You’re the
only one of our boys fit to
help out with the farm. Haven’t
you ever thought about lending
a helping hand?Pa looks at Doggett in the eye.
PA
You think it doesn’t break my
heart every time I see you fly
by the house in your truck? (beat)
We’re we that terrible to you?Doggett looks down. He never wanted to hurt anyone by doing the traditional drive by. It’s something that he and Monica have done for years.
PA
If you really don’t want to
be here with your family, I’m
not going to hold you to it.Pa stands up and looks down at Doggett.
PA
(bitter)
I’d hate to ruin your Christmas.Pa walks by him without another word, leaving John alone with his thoughts. He sits still in his chair, frozen, as if his father hit him as hard as he could and knocked the wind out of him. He can’t move as he allows everything his father just told him to sink in.
He remains frozen as he hears the creaking of his father’s footsteps above him. All falls silent. John leans back in the chair with tears stinging his eyes. He never meant to hurt anyone, or to make them think he doesn’t love them.
CUT TO:
INT. SKINNER’S HOUSE – CHRISTMAS MORNING
The morning light brightly shines in to the living room. Krycek sleeps peacefully on the floor, still wearing the large Santa suite. Marita is in his arms. Marita’s eyes slowly open, and a smile forms as she sees that Christmas morning has finally arrived. She sits up and turns to see Alex. She covers her mouth in shock that he’s still in his Santa suit. A sly grin forms. She stands up and carefully goes over to the couch where Mulder is sleeping. She shakes him gently.
MARITA
(soft)
Mulder. Wake up.Mulder smacks his lips and smiles as he slowly opens his eyes.
MULDER
(loud)
MERRY-
MARITA
Shh!She covers his mouth with her hand and places her index finger to her lips. Mulder looks at her confused.
MARITA
(whisper)
Alex fell asleep in the Santa suit.She smiles. Mulder’s eyes widen and he sits up. His jaw drops and he blinks his eyes.
MULDER
(hushed excitement)
Do you know what this means?Marita smiles and nods her head.
MARITA
He’ll have to be Santa all day.Mulder and Marita share devious grins. They slowly turn their heads to look at Krycek as he sleeps, and is unsuspecting to what he’s just done to himself...
MULDER
This Christmas can’t get any
better than this.Mulder smiles.
MULDER
Let’s wake up Santa.Mulder happily hops off the couch and sits on the floor next to Krycek.
MULDER
(loud)
Santa!Mulder smacks his hands on Krycek’s fake Santa belly. Krycek’s eyes pop open.
KRYCEK
(mad)
Dammit Mulder! What the fu-Marita comes next to him.
MARITA
(cheerful)
Good morning, Santa.She kisses Krycek on the cheek and smiles. Krycek’s heart stops beating as he realizes he’s still dressed as Santa for them. Krycek quickly smiles, hoping they didn’t hear him yell. The last thing he needs is for Christmas to be ruined for Marita and Mulder. He’s stuck as Santa for the whole day.
TIME CUT TO:
INT. SKINNER’S KITCHEN – NOON
Mulder is alone in the kitchen and standing on a chair in front of the doorway, hanging mistletoe. His plan for Operation Mistletoe (aka: get Skinner and Kim Back Together) hasn’t faded his mind. It took him a lot of energy, but he managed to talk Kim back into coming over this after noon. Now, Mulder is setting up his plan.
Krycek enters the kitchen as Mulder climbs off of the chair.
KRYCEK
We’re about to start “Star Wars”.
MULDER
Okay, Santa. I’ll be right there.Mulder carefully places the chair back into the table.
KRYCEK
How many did you set up?
MULDER
Fifteen.Krycek nods.
KRYCEK
Do you think it’ll work?
MULDER
I hope so.He grabs a plate of cookies from the table and walks towards Krycek.
MULDER
Let’s go watch “Star Wars”, Santa.He hands Krycek a frosted cookie as he walks by him and into the living room.
INT. LIVING ROOM
Mulder sets the plate of cookies down on the coffee table and sits on the couch next to Diana. Krycek sits down on the other side of her. Marita sits in a chair, and Skinner and Kim have conveniently been placed on the love seat.
“Star Wars” starts to play on Skinner’s DVD player. Everyone watches the movie, when suddenly, Mulder and Krycek’s eyes widen at the same time!
MULDER/KRYCEK
(mad)
Wait a minute! What the heck
is going on here?!
They both stand up at the same time and point to the TV screen. Everyone watches them.
MULDER/KRYCEK
(mad)
I didn’t want this!Mulder turns to Krycek.
MULDER
Alex! This isn’t the original “Star Wars”!Krycek turns to face Mulder.
KRYCEK
We got gypped!They both go over to Skinners’ DVD player and take out the disc. They tug on it back and forth for a few seconds until Krycek gets the better grip. He throws the disc across the room.
KRYCEK
(pissed)
I thought it was the original
theatrical release, not the
special edition crap that that
wanker put in!
SKINNER
Guys, what’s wrong?
MULDER
(mad)
George Lucas! Why didn’t he
put the original “Star Wars”
trilogy on DVD?!
KRYCEK
Doesn’t he know that there are
people out there who love the
originals and think he’s the devil
for destroying such classic films?
(beat) Ugh! The man is a disgrace
to the filmmaking business! I don’t
care if he came up with THX!Krycek plops down on the floor.
KRYCEK
He put the tarnish on Tinsel Town!Mulder sits next to him.
MULDER
He’s gone and ruined
Christmas! What a Grinch!
KRYCEK
I know! I should kill him!They both pout on the ground, just as there is a knock on the door.
Marita gets up to answer it. Brad smiles as she opens the door.
BRAD
Merry Christmas.
MULDER/KRYCEK
Oh shut up!Brad looks into the living room at Mulder and Krycek. He looks to Marita.
BRAD
(quiet)
What happened?
MARITA
“Star Wars”.She smiles and steps aside to allow him in. He walks in and looks at Mulder and Krycek, having no clue what’s going on.
Diana is the only one brave enough to approach the “pouting twins”.
DIANA
(sympathetic)
Boys?
MULDER/KRYCEK
(upset)
What?
DIANA
It’s just a movie...
KRYCEK
(mad/upset/on the verge of crying)
No it’s not! It’s “Star Wars”!
Lucas has ruined everything!Tears well up in Mulder’s eyes.
MULDER
(distraught/crying)
Why is this happening? I love “Star Wars”.Diana hugs him.
DIANA
There, there... How about you guys
get off the ground, come back to
the couch, and have a cookie.She helps Mulder and Krycek up off the ground and over to the couch. Everyone else watches on with amusement. Diana gets them seated on the couch and places the plate of cookies between them.
DIANA
(mother like)
Christmas isn’t ruined just
because “Star Wars” isn’t how
you thought it would be. You
still have your brand new red
bicycle that Santa brought you, Fox.
MULDER
I know, but I love “Star Wars”.
DIANA
I know you do.... yeah, but who would’ve thought they were this obsessed over it?
KRYCEK
(upset)
I’m gonna get that punk.
SKINNER
Are you sure there wasn’t an
option to see the theatrical
release and we just didn’t see it?
Mulder and Krycek look up hopeful.
MULDER/KRYCEK
What are you waiting for? Do it!Skinner gets up off the love seat and gets the DVD from the floor and puts it in his DVD player. Everyone waits patiently as the menu loads.
Unfortunately for them, no option is given to watch the original theatrical release of “Star Wars”.
MULDER/KRYCEK
(all hope lost)
Everything is ruined!They both collapse into each other on the couch.
CUT TO:
INT. DOGGETT HOUSE – McALLEN, TX
The Doggett family had to start Christmas morning late with opening presents because Jason decided to sleep in.
Jason and John are sitting on the couch, surrounded by Christmas wrapping paper. Doggett holds three blank DVD jewel cases in his hands.
DOGGETT
Do you even remember that I’m
a FBI agent? This is illegal.
JASON
Not if they’ll never be
released. It’s just a
digital “back up copy”.
Doggett gives him a look.
JASON
Besides, they’re classic. And
in the third movie, you’ve got
the Princess in that skimpy bikini thing.Jason smiles at him.
DOGGETT
How did you get your hands
on the original releases any way?
JASON
I know a guy. He’s a huge
“Star Wars” fan and bought them
on LaserDisc. Now, with the new
technology of DVDs, it’s easy to
transfer. It’s nothing.
DOGGETT
Who is this guy?
JASON
Right. Like I’m going to reveal
my sources to a federal agent.Jason smiles at him with a sly grin.
JASON
You know that bikini thing. That was
the first time I ever seriously considered
takin’ hold of my thing and whackin’ it
off while watchin’-Ma Doggett walks into the room, carrying a plate of frosted Christmas cookies.
MA
Since Santa ate most of the cookies
last night, I’ve pulled out the secret
stash. That way all the kiddies can
have their fair share of sugar.All the little kids run up to Ma Doggett, their little hands reaching for the cookies.
MA
Jason, what were you saying
about watching what?Doggett punches his younger brother gently on the shoulder.
DOGGETT
I can’t believe you were going to
talk about that with all the kids around.
MA
Talk about what?
JASON
How damn hot it is in here. We should
open up the windows and get some air
circulation in here. It’s near 80
degrees today, Ma.
Pa Doggett walks into the living room and begins opening the windows.
PA
Boy’s right, Liza. Let’s get ‘em windows open.
JASON
Does this mean I can
take off the sweater?Ma gives him a disapproving look. Pa gives Ma a look.
MA
Well, all right, but Chris better
let me know if you don’t wear it
up in San Antonio, cuz it’s a lot
colder up there than it is down here.Jason nods his head and takes off his Christmas sweater.
PA
Ma, I’m gonna go out and feed
the pigs. Keep an eye on Bobby,
we don’t wanna round all the animals
up again because he’s let ‘em all out.Pa Doggett leaves the house. John watches him through the window. They haven’t said a word to each other since last night. The way they’ve fallen back on ignoring each other makes John believe that nothing has changed since he tried to speak with his father. Jason pokes him in the stomach.
JASON
I brought my DVD player from
home since Ma and Pa don’t have
one. Want to put in “Star Wars”?
DOGGETT
Nah, not right now. (beat) Excuse me.John gets up off the couch and heads outside to help his father feed the pigs.
DOGGETT
Dad...Pa turns and hands Doggett a heavy sack of feed for the pigs.
PA
Remember to distribute the feed equally.
DOGGETT
Dad, I want to talk to you.
I don’t want to be on non-speaking
terms with you again.
PA
I’m listening.
Pa starts to feed some of the pigs.
DOGGETT
I’m sorry I’ve been a jack
ass to this family. I never
meant for you or Ma to think
I didn’t love you, or that I
didn’t want to be down here.Doggett feeds some of the pigs.
DOGGETT
You helped me realize a lot of things
last night. (beat) I gave serious thought
to what you told me. (beat) I’m going to
look into a transfer to the San Antonio
field office. That way I can be closer to everyone.
Pa stops feeding the pigs and turns to face him.
PA
Are you sure that’s what you really want?
DOGGETT
Yeah. (beat) A lot has happened up
in D.C., and I think it would do
me some good if I got out of there
and close to home.
Pa nods his head and turns back to feeding the pigs. Doggett sets the sack he had down on the ground.
DOGGETT
Dad, I want to forgive and
forget the past. I think it’s
time we both stop being stubborn
and move on from our issues. Life’s
too short for that bull shit.
Pa turns to him.
PA
(stern)
Watch your language, Johnny.
DOGGETT
(not letting him switch the subject)
You know I’m right.Pa looks away from him and sighs. It’s been fifteen years of tension and silence between them. They’ve both been stubborn long enough. He looks over at his son again and nods his head.
CUT TO:
INT. SKINNER’S HOUSE – KITCHEN
Skinner, Marita, Diana, Kim and Brad are all standing in the kitchen doorway, looking out into the living room, where Krycek and Mulder are still moping about how the original “Star Wars” isn’t on DVD.
KIM
Are they all right? Should we
do something to make them feel better?
Diana lets out a frustrated sigh and walks away from the doorway. She sits at the kitchen table.
DIANA
I don’t know how to fix them.
Marita joins her at the table, followed by Brad. Skinner and Kim turn to face them, still standing in the doorway.
MARITA
I’m out of ideas too. I had no
idea they were this obsessed with a movie.
BRAD
I mean, it’s just a movie.
They’re basing their lives
on petty material things.
SKINNER
So there’s nothing we can do?
MARITA
I’m afraid not. We’ll just
have to allow time to pass
and heal them.Marita shrugs her shoulders. Skinner and Kim turn around to look back at Mulder and Krycek in the living room.
However, they turn and are face to face with the boys.
KIM
(surprised)
Whoa!
MULDER
(excited)
KISS HER!
SKINNER
(confused)
What?
KRYCEK
(excited)
MISTLETOE!He points to one of the fifteen mistletoes Mulder hung around Skinner’s house.
MULDER
You have to! It’s Christmas tradition!
KRYCEK
It’s the only way to fix us!
Skinner and Kim share a look. Marita, Diana and Brad watch on. If Skinner and Kim kissing will fix the boys, the headaches could be gone... Skinner looks down at Kim. As much as he would love to kiss her, that would be disrespectful to her.
SKINNER
It wouldn’t be right.Skinner looks away from Kim and moves past Mulder and Krycek and goes into the living room.
Mulder and Krycek give each other a look as their sad expressions reappear.
MULDER
(disappointed)
Man!
KRYCEK
(upset)
Christmas is ruined!They mope back to the couch and sit with glum expressions.
Diana passes Kim.
DIANA
One little kiss couldn’t
have hurt in the long run.
She passes with an irritated look. Mulder and Krycek are becoming too much for her. Kim looks over at Skinner, who is putting in a VHS tape of “How The Grinch Stole Christmas”. She honestly thought he would’ve kissed her. He’s been so persistent with her before in trying to get back with her. She wonders what this could mean.
Marita enters the living room and sits in between Mulder and Krycek. She leans onto Krycek, hoping to cheer him up by cuddling with him.
Brad goes up behind Kim.
BRAD
(whisper)
Looks like he may be growing up.Kim looks back at him and he smiles, knowing that she still loves him. He passes her and goes into the living room. Kim follows and sits down on the chair as the movie starts.
Krycek looks down at Marita.
KRYCEK
(pathetic)
“Star Wars”...Marita looks up and smiles at him.
MARITA
(sympathetic)
Oh Sasha...She kisses him lovingly on the lips.
MARITA
(amused)
You’re my favorite jolly fat man.She winks at him with a sly grin and turns her attention back to the TV. Krycek looks down at what he’s wearing. The Santa Suit! His eyes widen.
KRYCEK
(quiet)
Marita, I’m sorry... I...
MARITA
Shh... Mulder hasn’t noticed.She smiles at him. Krycek signs in relief and turns his attention back to the TV. Marita looks over at Mulder and makes eye contact with him. He smiles deviously, having heard her tell Alex that he hasn’t realized. Marita winks at him. Mulder smiles and turns his attention back to the TV.
MULDER
(singing)
You’re a rotten, Mr. Lucas...He giggles at how “witty” he is.
SKINNER
(annoyed)
Drop the whole “Star Wars” thing.
MULDER
Sorry, Wally.
SKINNER
Don’t call me that.
MULDER
Sorry, Cue-ball.
SKINNER
(growing irritated)
Or that.
MULDER
Yes, sir Balds-a-lot.
Mulder tries to hold his serious expression.
SKINNER
Stop it.
MULDER
Sorry, wannabe-chia-pet.
Krycek snort laughs.
SKINNER
(irritated)
Mulder.
MULDER
Ok, I’ll stop. (beat) Shiny-top.
Skinner glares at him.
DIANA
Fox...He smiles at her.
MULDER
Ok, I’m sorry.
Skinner eyes him. He better stop.
MULDER
(after a beat; devious)
Mr. Clean.Skinner glares at him. Off Mulder continuing his bald jokes, we...
FADE OUT:
THE END.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM "FOX & RAT"!
Please let us know what you thought of the episode.