::: Krycek's Pad :::
The Many Occupations of Alex Krycek

I am so talented in so many areas, people don't know what to do with me. First, I'm the hottest thing to ever grace this world and then I become a multi-millionaire tycoon and establish a gentleman's club in Las Vegas, only to go on and start up DA Man Publishing and then I hit Hollywood with my smashing Blockbuster hit "Robot 2000" (the historicical, futuristic, scifi thriller!). And it doesn't stop there!! I'm a sexy assassin for the Syndicate and FBI Agent at the same time! To top things off, I became a principal at an elementary school... yes... dat's right, I can start warping the minds of kids when they first start school!

Figure Skater
I was chosen by the Central Red Army Club to start figure skating when I was 4 years old. Yes, I was chosen by Russia's finest to become a champion! I was the best, no... I AM the best that ever was! Gordeeva and Grinkov who? No, I'm just joking. I love G&G. They are the best, and I didn't do pairs skating anyway. I was an ice dancer. Yes, I had the great talent to do ice dancing (and I got the ladies!) My partner is Marita Lynn Covarrubias. She is my love, my light, my all. We were supposed to compete at the 2006 Winter Olympics in Torino, Italy, but then Scully got into some trouble, and after my soap box about the Bielmann position in spins and spirals, I withdrew so I could help. Our skating costumes were just so pretty. She was in pink and I was in maroon.

Burger Boy
My second job in my whole life (yes, back in the day, figure skating was a job!) was working at a fast food restaurant called Burger Boy when I was 16. I worked there from 1985 until 1988. When I gave up on high school in 1987 I still had to work one year at that crap join, but then I became the owner of the Las Vegas Gentleman's Club, The Gutter. I hated my job at Burger Boy. I had to sell crappy food to crappy people. But at least I got to wear the white paper hat and eat free food!

Strip Club Owner
And people always said I'd have to graduate high school to get anywhere in life! Ha! Whatever you frickin' losers! I became the owner of The Gutter, which my friend (and Lust Buddy) Scully helped me found! Her stage name was Red and she brought in the big bucks! I started The Gutter in 1988 when I was 19 years old! It's still running nowadays, but my priorities with Marita are more important than my reputation (sometimes).

Syndicate Assassin
Let's see... my sex appeal was put to great use when The Syndicate gave me a gun and told me to be an assassin for them! This was the most fun job I've ever had (well, one of them anyway... I really did love owning The Gutter!). This job was great because I got to be with Marita a lot!! So life doesn't get much better than that! Plus I looked really good with a gun and my leather jacket. Though surprisingly I was quite handy with a gun, and I don't mean my Russian Love Gun! So I got this job in 1991 and have been doing it ever since, though they haven't used me in a while and that starts to piss me off!

As much as I say I loved this job, I really didn't sometimes. I got used by the Smoking Man (that asshat!) to hurt my friends because he boosted my ego (not that I really have one, but you know). So somewhere along the way I stopped doing this job without ever officially quitting.

DA Man Publishing
You know, I did say I was a multi-millionaire tycoon at the top of the page. I'm not lying so you better believe it. Let's see, I established DA Man Publishing in 2002 when I decided, without informing Scully, that I was going to start publishing The Sexual Journey To Ecstasy: 202 Inventive Positions To Kinkier Sex, which Scully co-authored with me. Sales on that began in 2003 and it has been selling like there's no tomorrow! It's like #1 in the Adult Book category! The thing is, Scully doesn't know about this... I think, I don't know. But don't worry, I'm not ripping her off or anything, I've set up a Swiss bank account with her profits!

The Photographer
Yes, I am a photographer. Bet ya didn't know that, huh? Well, it'll all make sense because this is where I started to get into filmmaking. I started with still and shot a lot of nudy photos of Scully (how kind of her to volunteer). I really can't remember when I got into photography, but I think it was sometime when I was running the Gutter in Las Vegas because I needed photos to decorate the interior. Hence the reason I did nudes! Plus, as you may know, sex and nudity is my favorite subject matter! So I picked up photography and it came pretty naturally for me. Like I said at the top of this page, I'm multi-talented.

The Sexy FBI Man
Did you know that I work for the FBI? Yes, that's right. I am the sexiest FBI agent ever to grace this Earth in the whole wide world of time! That's my sexy badge to the right of your screen. I'm just to die for! I love my job at the FBI because I get to do nothing and get paid. I work for a division called the x-files, we're supposed to be investigating paranormal cases and what not, but my boss, Skinner... oh wait... no, it was Brad for a time and that really sucked because he made me work! I guess I'm just remembering back on the good ol' days when Skinner wouldn't have any cases for us. That rocked. When Brad was my boss he made me work. God that sucked! Good thing they got rid of him! But he did get rid of me and that was rather poopy. Mulder became the AD of the XFD, which is like his dream goal in life or something... you know, anything he can do to get closer to finding his sister Samantha. I've had many partners in my life (LOL, no you perverted person, not sex partners, although I have, but wait! Now you're getting me off topic). I've been partners with Fox Mulder (yeah, what a stupid name), Dana Scully (mreow! *scratch, scratch* she's one hot babe), Monica Reyes (whoo-boy she's a hot tamale!), and John Doggett (Mr. I-Respect-Everything-Including-Toe-Nail-Clippers). You can learn more about my buddies (yes, my partners are my buddies too) in my Bestest Buddies page. I also include photos of them in there.

The Film Director
Cut! Print! Perfect! I was inspired by the crappy film director, Ed Wood. He would put out what ever crap he wanted and that's just what I did! I mean, Mulder and I, we love watching "Plan Nine From Outerspace", it's one of the greatest movies ever and it totally inspired me to do film. I mean, if Ed Wood's day-for-night shots were actually DAY and with sun and all, then why can't I do it too, right? Because, there comes a time in every man's life when he can't even believe his own eyes! That's a quote from the movie! But anyway, this is about me and my film! Back in 2003 I hit Hollywood by storm with my historical-futuristic-scifi-thriller, "Robot 2000". The film starred Marita of course and I directed it. It was about this killer robot who killed people! It was rather smathing, let me tell you! I'm kind of a One Hit Wonder really because "Robot 2000" was my only film, but I had many ideas... like "Ducks", which is about killer ducks who attack people in the park (based off of a real event!) And then there was my idea of "Droid Wars", which would be mocking "Star Wars" and I'd make sure the "C3PO" mock character would be named "I-C-U-P" so that when the Luke Skywalker mock character (which remains unnameed) would yell into the radio "I-C-U-P! I-C-U-P!" when he wants him to turn off the track compactor. But there would be a "Rain Trooper" (mocking the Storm Troopers of course) in the bathroom looking around paranoid! Man, I should really do some of this shit I come up with!

The Principal
My final job was becoming the principal of the Falls Church Elementary School. This job was the most fun, but sadly I didn't get to do it as long as I could. What I wouldn't give to be able to warp the minds of young kids! Of course, I was the best principal that school ever had! I mean, look at me, I'm hot stuff! The kids loved me! And guess what?! I even got to be "professionally reunited" with former FBI partner, Monica Reyes (mreow!) who was teaching Spanish to the little kids! I was thrilled, but she wasn't. Now that the world has gone to pieces with Alien Colonization, I hope to re-build the school system to how I see fit! Recess all the time, art classes, gym class, no hard studying! I guess I'd have to be in charge of the elementary kids! I was good at that level of education anyway.

So that's all my jobs. I had a bunch of little jobs here and there after I was fired from the FBI (Brad sucks!! ). I sold candy bars, pretzels and even returned to Burger Boy! Life is better with out that crappy place!