::: Got Sexy? :::
Damn Sexy Pictures of Us

MULDER: Ahhh... fond memories :::rolls eyes:::

KRYCEK: I don't remember this.

MULDER: He got drunk... Kim let him again.

KRYCEK: I never get drunk!

MULDER: Sure thing buddy... anyway, Krycek licked my face after some guy said he thought we were gay, Krycek told him we weren't and to "prove" it, he licked my face. Smart move Krycek!

:::Krycek's head hangs low:::

KRYCEK: We like walking down halls.

MULDER: So watch out cuz when we get bored... hehe... we have yarn... poor Alfredo. :::laughs loud and hard:::

KRYCEK: That was fun. There was this one time when -

MULDER: We tripped him!! He fell flat on his face! That's what he gets for not returning our video.

KRYCEK: But it's kinda ok since we bought "Hawaiian Bunny 2: The Honeymoon Suite" ...

MULDER: But it's not the same...

:::they start to cry thinking of their abducted video:::

KRYCEK: So one day we were in a meeting and we were making faces at each other...

MULDER: And I made one that pissed him off.

KRYCEK: So here I'm glaring at him.

MULDER: And Skinner keeps talking about some mouse in the chicken basket... whatever that was...

KRYCEK: I think he's on drugs.

MULDER: :::gasps::: SkinMan!! No way!! Scully would be so pissed!

KRYCEK: She probably gave it to him, Mulder.

:::weird awkward silence:::

MULDER: Ummmm...

MULDER: Are we sure we want to tell them this story?

KRYCEK: No.

MULDER: So one day I'm going over to Skinner's apartment, right?

KRYCEK: Please stop.

MULDER: No. And I get there and I think I hear, you know Scully and Skinner doin' the "Wild Thang", so I walk in... and it's not Scully or Skinner, but :::gasps::: Marita and Krycek!!!

KRYCEK: I was drugged!

MULDER: Doggett was wondering where his handcuffs disappeared to... I found out. Marita had handcuffed Krycek to the balcony rails... and was stripping when I stepped in. She ran off fast as Krycek tried to hide his rather small :::chuckles::: buldge!

KRYCEK: What?! What do you mean "small"?

MULDER: :::pats Krycek on the shoulder::: It's ok buddy...

KRYCEK: Our trip to Russia. I was dragged.

MULDER: You were what? In drag?!

KRYCEK: No... you dragged me with you. (beat) Anyway... we're in this cold freezing pickup truck, that Mulder thought was so suitable for the cold weather -

MULDER: I was saying "I see dead people", over and over again. I could see my breath and I had just seen "The Sixth Sense"... and I wanted to play.

KRYCEK: Needless to say, I wanted out.

MULDER: Yeah... then you ditched me! In prison!

:::Krycek gives a stupid look:::

KRYCEK: I'm sorry man!! Please forgive me! I couldn't stand bug soup anymore!!

Yeah Right! Damn Sexy? We Don't Think So! *G*

Hi this is Dana and Marita. We hacked into their account and are finishing their work... they don't know yet... shh... it's a secret, they don't even know we opened their site :::laughs:::

SCULLY: This is interesting... one day me and Marita were coming over to visit ... this was a few months ago.

MARITA: So while we were over there, he was in his room doing who knows what when he gets a phone call.

SCULLY: So I go to get him and neglect to knock on the door. What a mistake. He was making "kung fu" noises...

MARITA: She slamed the door and ran back into the living room where Krycek and I were watching that horrible show they love so much... "Syndicate X"... did you know it's about sex? I didn't!! I was scared.

SCULLY: You didn't have to see this first hand!

MARITA: How'd we get a picture?

SCULLY: I don't know... hmmmm...

MARITA: Since he won't admit that he loves me, I'll tell you all about it.

SCULLY: This is a cute story with a weird them twist.

MARITA: So one day we are arguing in the FBI, and I say "you love me, don't you" and he gasps and says "no..."

SCULLY: With a stupid look on his face. Mulder took a picture.

MARITA: So now everyone is watching and I put him on the spot. And he just kinda stood there with that look on his face saying "no I don't" in a really stupid tone... so I get over it and find some new guy and he doesn't know. So... don't tell! :::laughs:::

SCULLY: I got this video surveillance from a friend of mine.

MARITA: :::laughs::: Talk about small buldges, Mulder!

SCULLY: So Krycek, I guess is talking to Mulder about a case, but Mulder didn't want to listen... Mulder had other ideas.

MARITA: Mulder threw Krycek into the pool with his work clothes on and dove in and wanted to sit on his shoulders for a piggy-back-ride!!

SCULLY: Little do they know, but this video circulated around the Bureau and now just about everyone believes that Mulder and Krycek are gay... can you imagine the small talk that happened when they moved in together :::laughs:::

MULDER: Awww... poor Krycek, nobody shakes his hands...

KRYCEK: You were mean to me... (to visitors)... this was our first day working together as partners and he hated me I think, it was so distressing!... (to Mulder)... I wonder where Scully was during all this?

MULDER: With Skinner? Or Doggett?

KRYCEK: Doggett wasn't there yet, you moron!

MULDER: Oh.

KRYCEK: Our first case together, and he ditches me, doesn't shake my hand... we had a race and I won.

MULDER: No, you stopped and I continued to the end of the track... I won.

KRYCEK: The race was to the door, and I won.

MULDER: NO! Because as we started the race and you almost tripped and fell, I called out "LAST ONE TO THE TRACK WINS!"

KRYCEK: That's not fair, I didn't hear you.

MULDER: Well get a hearing aid. I won! :::sticks tongue out:::

KRYCEK: Get a life.

MULDER: I'm hot in this picture.

KRYCEK: I'm hotter...

MULDER: Nuh-uhh...

SKINNER: Face it, I'm hotter than you guys, I'm the one with a woman.

KRYCEK: I have one too... her name is Marita.

MARITA: Honey... I thought we've been through this before... we are not together. Never have been, never will be.

:::Mulder sniggers:::

KRYCEK: What? :::begins to cry:::

:::Mulder falls to the ground laughing as Scully eyes Doggett:::

DOGGETT: Guys, come on... why are you making a website while you are at work?

MULDER: Because it's fun... besides haven't you seen the pic Scully and Marita have of you on our Buddy's Pic page? Yeah! Baby, Yeah!

:::Doggett looks to Krycek, pissed:::