::: Got Sexy? :::
Mulder Is *The* Sexy Man Gallery

Ok so here I am at some dance that I ended up attending while on a case with Scully. I was talking to this one guy while we were dancing and then suddenly he tripped over my foot (maybe I got too close, I don't know). I thought it was funny so I pointed my finger at him and laughed. The guy then threatened me and said he knew where I lived which explains the scared look on my face. I don't want to die before it's my time. After this incident I hid behind Scully's back the whole night while she was trying to hit on some hot detective guy who didn't seem too interested in her once I showed up. I hope I didn't ruin anything for her...

One day after a small fight with my buddy Krycek, I got kinda suicidal... but don't worry, I didn't kill myself (see I'm here telling the story which means I'm still alive). The fight was about Rule #1, I told Krycek I didn't think it was a fair rule, since Marita is my friend and all and that sometimes friends hug. Krycek got mad that I used "me", "hug" and "Marita" in the same sentence and yelled at me in Russian for over an hour, which was when I pulled out my gun. Krycek, my bestest buddy, stopped me before I pulled the trigger and we made up and he hugged me.

Ok so what do you think? Do I look good in this photo or what? Please piss off Krycek and help me impress Scully by posting on our Goofy Spooky Message Board, and tell everyone how much better looking I am than Krycek. Thank you. You see I've been trying to brainwash Scully into falling in love with me and she won't listen to me when I tell her how much better looking I am than Skinner, Krycek or Doggett. Please make sure to point out to Scully that I have well defined arms, nice tight behind, sexy deep voice that charms all the ladies, sexy eyes and luscious lips and that I look really good with a goatee. If somehow by the miracle of brainwashing Scully, she ends up with me for at least one week, I'll have you all to thank.

Ok so you know that Krycek and I have a pool table instead of a kitchen/dining room table. Well here is the story of how we got it. One late night at Manner's bar, I got myself stuck in a sticky situation in a game of billiards. I was playing against a man who called himself "Big Bruno". He had been unbeaten all night long. So upon hearing this, I decided to challenge him to a game. With Kim's permission, I placed a bet that if I beat Big Bruno, I get to take the pool table home with me (Kim had sold it to Bruno earlier that night) and if Bruno beat me, well I owed him our apartment. Well it got down to myself and Bruno shooting for the 8 ball, and Bruno sunk it and the cue ball followed, which meant I won (Krycek had to tell me that, I thought I had lost). Bruno was a sore loser and Kim had to shut down the bar for a few days to get things straightened out again.

Here I am at Manner's Bar. This was a fake Bachelor Party for my buddy Krycek. You see, Krycek and I had had the girlie channel on cable for free, but one day it just went away, we were very sad. So we came up with this idea, tell Kim that Krycek was going to get married the next month and that we wanted to have a Bachelor Party at his bar. Kim agreed and we got everything set up. Well it was disappointing, the stripper never showed up and we all ended up singing karoke until the wee morning hours. I wore my lucky blue suit that night, just so I'd have an edge over Krycek in having the stripper give me a lap dance. I wasn't too sad though, I got to sing "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?" one of my favorite songs of all time!

Yeah... I am a bad boy sometimes. I put cigars in my mouth. Krycek and I were actually playing "Make My Friend Do Something Stupid" while taking a walk in the park, Krycek found this barely used cigar and dared me to put it in my mouth and pose for a picture (the one you see here). I thought I looked pretty darn cool, you can see my Super Stud look on my face, I'm so studly. Scully, Marita and Skinner jogged by and pretended they didn't know who we were, which is sad because they have never played "Make My Friend Do Something Stupid", and we wanted Marita to climb up a tree and jump into Krycek's arms, but they just kept on jogging. Skinner must be working out a lot more, he's not so saggy, if you know what I mean.

This is a super sad story. I was dancing and singing one afternoon while Krycek was trying to get some nap time. I thought he was sound asleep, but he wasn't. My roomie kicked me out of the apartment for a very long time, and I had to go to the bathroom. Yeah, I could have gone to the apartment lobby, but it was funnier whining in the stairwell about it, that way I knew Krycek would regret ever kicking me out. Sadly though, he didn't let me in until later that night, after dinner and after my favorite TV Show was on. I tried to apologize but he wouldn't listen to me because he had to go make his usual 9 o'clock phone call to Marita, and Krycek, I know what goes on during those phone calls... and since you were mean to me, I'm gonna tell everyone! Krycek tries to have phone sex with Marita and she tries to convince him that they aren't a couple. HA!

This was so beautiful. I found Krycek's home video collection after he had hid it from me, and I came across some old tapes of Krycek as a little boy (before he was Mr. Ego). The one I'm watching in this picture is of little Krycek and his mother. Krycek is trying to read a Russian fairy tale for children and is making plenty of pronunciation mistakes, and his mother is correcting him. I wish Krycek was as nice to me as his mother was to him. Sadly, that is not the case. The last time Krycek was really nice to me, in a super kind of way, was when he got back from Russia after his mother had passed away. I want my nice buddy back. I think he has some problems that he's not talking about.

Oh I should have put this on the other page! Oh well, remember the one story about the guy and myself dancing while I was on a case? Well, it turns out that the guy seriously hurt himself and had to get a cast put on his foot, pissed, he came back to the dance looking for me. Unfortunate for Scully, he found me... this picture here is right before his crutch swung over my head and hit Scully right in the face. It gave her a nose bleed and I kept her cheerful by quoting that nose bleed quote from her favorite movie Titanic. Because this guy hurt my Scully, I had him put in jail for being drunk and disorderly. Hehehe.